BearHawk HOF – Start From The Beginning

I have to start from the beginning. I started dipping in the 8th grade back in 1974 and it was all about fitting in. I’m not going to fall into the blame game and point fingers at the reasons why over all those years I couldn’t or wouldn’t quit or stay quit because the bottom line is that it was me, my weakness and my addiction to that old Nicotine Hag. She sure knows how to lure you in and she plays real hard ball when it comes to letting you go. It’s not like Copenhagen put a gun to my head and told me to dip or else.

At any rate a couple of years ago I started trying to quit again for the 10 millionth time but this time I decided to see if I could use technology to help me and I found a web site that was also part of a university study in quitting dipping. I found that this site did help out a lot, in the beginning the staff on the site would call and check up on me and things went rather well; yet there was no accountability with this site so after a while the staff figured that things were going great and stopped contacting me and without that direct support I just went back to dipping. But it was a step in the right direction as I did keep trying. Once while I was on their forum page I struck up communication with a guy who mentioned that he was staying quit with KTC and invited me to check out the site. I don’t recall who he was or I’d give the brother a shout right now, but then I wasn’t really ready.

Long story short back on August 15, 2013 I just had enough of snuff and out of the blue quit dipping. The next day I remembered in my fog induced brain about that brother and I looked up KTC. This place is just what I needed (And still need). It is a group of brothers and sisters who are all doing the same thing they ask me to do. They keep it real and they keep it honest (for the most part). I can’t lie in here because all the brothers and sisters know what kind of liars we addicts are. I can’t hide because my brothers keep on my ass and make sure I keep posting no matter what. No excuses! I have learned some great acronyms here and they all keep me on track QLF, ODAAT, NAFAR and the like. I have a couple of brothers who text me and check in on me and this group of fellow quitters is everywhere, on KTC, on FB and on my phone.

Another thing that gives me hope that I am truly quit this time is looking at the other Intro pages and the HOF / HOL speeches and seeing how far back this group goes and it lets me know that this site and these people aren’t going to be just signing off and letting their fellows dangle in the wind. They will be here for years and years keeping the quit going on and on and on. I like that and as a quitter I am going to need that forever.

I am very proud of making it 100 days and I am looking down the road to seeing 200 and 365 and 1000 plus days free. I am going to do it, one day at a time and I am doing it for me. Nic free is now my way of life, thanks to God and all of these crazy whacked out friends, brothers and sisters out there reading this. This retired Navy salt, redneck, Polish, Texan moved west to CA finds this new life with that damn monkey off my back a lot more laid back.

Special words of thanks to my close brothers DaBean and Mike from AB for keeping me on track and in line and putting up with my crazy rants in the beginning when I couldn’t figure this site out. For all the old timers who have kept this site going and it is most encouraging to know you all are out there to stay.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member BearHawk

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