Killer Crave

HurricaneI spent last week in Punta Cana. We were lucky enough to have missed Hurricane Dean. I wasn’t however, lucky enough to miss Hurricane Nic. Before you get too worried, I’m still clean.

When we finally landed and got to the Hotel/Resort, I was smacked with a massive crave. And by Massive, I mean “First Couple of Days” Massive. That night, I had the worst dip dream ever. Sunday was alright, only a few mild craves. Monday, I had more craves since part of our excursion that day included a tour of a cigar farm/house/shack. If I had known that, I might not of went. That night I had another dip dream… and the next night. I was going to flip! Friday night I had another dip dream but by this time I was so used to them I didn’t worry if I was still clean when I woke up.

For the first time since I began this quit, my resolve was shaken. There was one instance where I was literally hanging on by a thread. I’ve hit rough spots and I’ve had my bad days. But this is the first time ever I have honestly questioned my ability to keep on the straight and narrow. I now know the answer to that question. I will NEVER, EVER put that shit in my mouth again. I have come to damn far to give this up. As bad as last week was, I’m glad to have gone through it. It’s rejuvenated my will and has given me new motivation.

Even though I didn’t cave, I quickly realized how much this site helps and how quickly things can get out of hand. This is truly a great resource. I would of given my left nut to be able to get on here and just post a quick “hey” when all of this was going on. I guess what I’m saying is I missed ya guys.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member AngusGT

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