Re-Invention – It’s Not Just About The Chew

bscar avatarMy previous circumstances are no different than the rest, so the details are insignificant.
18 years of chewing
Promise to quit when I married
Promise to quit when my son was born
Countless promises to myself, family, others, co-workers……
Failure across the board.

Conducted the usual internet search for “stopping chewing”…BOOM…KTC pops up
I register and lurk
READY sees me lurking after about 20 min. of me looking
PM follows “Today is the day…It will be no easier tomorrow. You can do this”
I was stunned, staring at the screen. In this day and age, who reaches out to someone they don’t know for this kind of invite and help with nothing to gain.
It’s simple – if READY hadn’t sent me that PM, I don’t think I would be here today.
Thank you READY

I quit for 18 days on this site with my Sept group and then caved. The reasons for the cave are insignificant. I did what I always had done….allowed outside circumstances to affect my decision making and my strength…never again.

See when I caved I received inspirational messages from all of my Sept brothers, rkymtnman, Skoal Monster, Markr, Ironman, Flash, Volp and Dan the Man. Dan the man’s signature line made me stop in my tracks…..

“MAKING AND KEEPING PROMISES TO YOURSELF IS THE FOUNDATION FOR DEVELOPING CHARACTER AND INTEGRITY”

Read this to yourself and really absorb the meaning. I believe it is one of the most vital concepts of life I have ever read…..and absorbed.

See I have went thru life feeling ashamed and disappointed in myself due to my habit. I compensated for this by seeking outside approval. I did not like the man in the mirror, so I counted on others to make me feel better about myself…props from co-workers, women, my son, friends, etc. Making and not keeping promises to myself while pretending to be a man of integrity and “dudley do-right” destroyed my character and my spirit. On the outside, I had a strong physical presence with a look of stone, but when I sat in my recliner at night, by myself, the real me came out.
Fear
Shame
I did not respect myself

Dan The Man’s signature line woke me up.
How can I be “real” and really function like a man of integrity while I was victim to this habit?
How can I discipline my son or preach to him about anything with integrity?
How could I maintain a good attitude and feeling of strength and self worth while I had this demon controlling my life and my demeanor.
I was not in control of my happiness, my strength or even my daily activities. It all revolved around my addiction and if my addiction was currently satisfied or whether I was in withdrawal due to some circumstance where I couldn’t chew.
This is no way to live.
I had no right to criticize anyone for anything
I was a hypocrite
It’s that simple

It’s not just about the chew. It’s about you being “PURE”
“PURE” means you have nothing to hide
You are proud of what you do from the minute you wake up until the minute you go to bed.
What you say IS what you do.
You are living the life you want to live no matter the pain, struggle or hardship because the pain, struggle and hardship is what builds real integrity…it is the core of self-respect.
Without this, you will die from the outside in….I almost did.

Embrace adversity and build your life, but it doesnt’ start on the outside.
It starts with YOU
Do what you say
Keep your promises to yourself
Get off the couch and be the person you want to be because it’s sitting right in front of your face.
The chew is just a component of you being “PURE”.
Dump it
Face the struggle and pain….feed off of it
Do you feel it?
That’s you getting stronger and building your life from the INSIDE to the outside
Be PURE and watch your life soar!!
There is no substitute for self respect…Trust me!

Ready – You were a godsend…Thanks brother!
rkymtnman – Thanks for calling me out
Dan The Man – don’t ever change your signature line brother!!
Skoal Monster – Jesus brother…you are the ambassador of quit!
Markr – You never forgot me…Thank you!
Flash/Volp – You are the backbone of our group…Let’s keep going!
Ironman – Thanks for being there and remembering to check on me!
Sept ’09 – Without you, I wouldn’t be here.

Sincerely,

Bscar (Brian)

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member bscar

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