In 1986, right out to high school I had my first chew. I thought the buzz was pretty neat from this harmless drug. A year after that, I thought it made basic training more tolerable. A year after that, I thought it made be a better college student, and after that, better at my career, better husband, better dad, etc, etc.
30 years later I know for certain none of that is true. I know that nicotine is far from harmless and my life is unquestionably better without it. I’ve only seriously tried to quit one other time in my life when I first had children. I knew this time I needed some help, some support, somebody to share in my misery. I was looking for a support group run by people who at the least had “been there, done that.”, not some non-addicted public health nurse. I’ve never had a single social media account, but on January 20, 2016, I happened to stumble on Kill the Can instead of a support group hotline number. I read a few pages as a guest and the next day, reluctantly, I registered and hoped for the best.
Thanks to this support group and the many guys and gals I will most likely never meet, I’d like to share with you what I have learned over the last 100 days. I have learned…
….That I am an addict, a nicotine addict. I’m ashamed of that label and description of me, but I’ve learned to accept it to overcome my addiction.
….That I can control this addiction by reading, engaging, posting and supporting other members in April as well as other groups. I’ve learned that regardless of if I agree or disagree with others here, each of you have made this milestone possible.
….What the acronyms KTC, ODAAT, WUPP, QLF and EDD stand for and that they are the foundation of this group and my success to control my addiction.
….That I don’t hold a monopoly on life’s problems, like job stress, family feuds, money worries, etc. I have learned that solving any one of these problems with nicotine, is not a solution at all, but adds to the original problem.
….That everything tastes better, looks better, feels better and sounds better without nicotine. That all the things that give me joy, are better without nicotine.
…..That one of the most influential quotes I’ve lived by, now has a new and stronger meaning to me.
“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” Hellen Keller.
Finally I would like to thank all of April for your commitment, accountability and support the last 100 days. A special thank you to Walterwhite, Rewire and skagnetti13 for sending me that first PM welcoming me to April. Without that, I doubt I would have returned for day 2.