Listen up bro. Quitting, on occasion, will be a chore. Doesn’t matter if you are quit for 80 days or 800 days. Sometimes your addiction is gonna kick you in the nuts, and when it does you have a choice to make, the same one you make every minute of every day whether you are cognizant of it or not. You make that choice. Quitting is much like some of your scientific laws…they must be repeated anytime, anywhere, with 100% accuracy. 99.9% just doesn’t cut it no?
LOOT is gonna let you in on a secret. About 30 minutes ago, LOOt goes in a convenience store to get him a couple Pepsi’s to make it through the day. Standing at the counter to pay, for some reason, LOOT gets to noticing the wall of tobacco behind the man taking LOOT’s money….scanning…LOOT finally found the Copenhagen. And there it was…silver top glistening in the light. Ah the memories.
LOOT turned and headed out, when LOOT hit the door, honest injun, LOOT thought to himself “Why are you doing this? Why continue the fight? It’s not for financial reasons. It’s not for health concerns. So why? Why not just accept the fact that you are a junky”. All of this happened within a nanosecond. What did LOOT do? LOOT pulled his wallet out as he walked to the car and pulled out a tattered piece of paper and read it. It is the Contract to Give UP. LOOT verbalized his typical “Fuck Off”…and continued about his day.
Point? There is a point somewhere here. Even after 831 days, sometimes LOOT takes it minute by minute? Did LOOT crave? Nope. It was a longing. A pesty little fly that sometimes lands on LOOT’s shoulder. Brush it away my friend, the consequences of not doing so are not worth it. LOOT knows that feeding his addiction will never be an option, it will never happen, it can’t. That doesn’t mean that from time to time LOOT doesn’t think about it.
You keep your head up man, you got balls of steel. The only way you lose is if you allow it to happen…and you can’t for a lot of reasons that LOOT could list for you if you’d like. Good times come, good times go. Life is not always a bowl of cherries…especially for addicts. It could be worse though. You could be like ODT…waking up in physical pain every single morning. Having to stretch the muscles in your neck to be able to move. He doesn’t speak of it and the only reason LOOT knows is b3ecause LOOT asked in a PM. Weigh the options friend. Look at all the data you have in front of you….and lie to yourself that you are not strong enough walk the righteous path.
BTW…LOOT wanted beer so bad yesterday he could taste it. But, LOOT gave you his word.
Keep making roll call…keep your head down…keep your focus…keep your tools close by….and keep moving forward.