As addicts, we have the Sisyphean task of quitting day by day.
“In Greek mythology, Sisyphus was a king punished by being compelled to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and to repeat this throughout eternity. The word ‘Sisyphean’ means ‘endless and unavailing, as labor or a task.'” (from somewhere on the inter webs, Wiki, I think). I always say my job is a Sisyphean task, but the quote above made me realize that it applies to addiction as well.
In order to be quit, we have to start pushing our boulder first thing every morning, just like ol’ Sisyphus. For some tasks in our life, we’re done after reaching the top of the hill each day. But our addict boulder inevitably rolls back down the hill at the end of each day. Since we will never be cured, we’re confronted each day with the choice of battling the addiction (rolling our boulder) or giving up. If you’ve posted roll, and given your word, then the only choice you have for that day is to start pushing.
Even though we never make progress and the boulder winds up in the same place we started, there is some good news. Our daily push gets easier as we build our muscles by making ourselves accountable and requesting / accepting help and support from others.
Denny, sorry to hijack your intro thread with my random thoughts. Just remember that you’re an addict, that what you’re going through right now is worth the price and that you don’t ever want to be that guy again. You know, the one who worried about when he’d be able to get his next fix from a can of chopped up weeds. I’m stronger than that tin. And so are you. Good to be quit with you.