HOF and What It Means To Me – Better Late Than Never
I was a tin a day dipper of Kodiak Long Cut Wintergreen. I did not hide it from my wife, friends or neighbors, but hid it from my kids, coworkers and the rest of my family. I was kind of like the Superman of Dipping. At work and family functions, Clark Kent. Perfect guy. No “bad” vices like smoking or chewing. At home and at the bar, Man of Kodiak, never without a dip in my mouth. I dipped for 17 years, including my marriage, honeymoon, birth of my two sons, etc. I used to convince myself that I did not want to quit, because I liked dipping. What did I like about it? The taste? The cost? The sore gums and teeth? The isolation as I hide to figure out how I am going to ninja dip around certain people? I am an addict.
So, HOF. What does that mean to me? This is a really difficult question to answer. Should I celebrate this accomplishment? Yes. Does it mean anything? Yes. Does it REALLY mean anything? No.
Before you all get upset, I am not saying at all that I do not think that reaching my 100th day of freedom from nicotine is not an accomplishment. It is the longest that I have gone without chew since before I started. I also know that all it takes is one moment of weakness, one stupid mistake, one bad decision to be right back at posting my Day 1. I will celebrate my 100 days for the next week or so in my own way, and celebrate with all of my December brothers and sisters as they too enter the HOF, but in no way, is this fight over. I will continue to be an addict for the rest of my life. I will continue to seek guidance from people who have done this before me, and provide any assistance that I can to others trying to do this for themselves. I will post my promise, and I will continue to fight this addiction. I hope that it continues to get easier, but also realize that even if it does, there is no allowance for complacency.
Anyway, I thought when I wrote this that it would be all happy and great, but I am also realizing that this is not the end, only a milestone. There will be many forks in the road, and I will continue to look to the relationships that I have made through this site to help guide me in the right direction.
I wanted to thank all of the people that have supported me from the beginning, and pushed me when I needed it. Some unfortunately also made my quit stronger through their own mistakes. Some of you may be surprised to see your names here, but trust me, all of you have contributed to my quit in some way or another. In no particular order, special thanks to Brocolli, CNC, Skinny, DogOnHunt, 69Franx, Brisingr, drbottux, Jeff W, Lumber, Pozzi, Jdubs, Prohunter, Restep, Iowa, Batdad, Samrs, dipsgone, sfurze76, sm5555, Srains, 4thewin, Wyles, Big Red, AppleJack, Adarmstrong, HarvestGirl, and all of my December Family and the vets that pushed us through the first of many finish lines. One special shout out to Traumagnet (RIP). His words really drove me to stay strong and diligent, and continue to do so to this day. He should be an inspiration for all of us Last of all, a special thanks to KTC. Without finding this site, I would not be posting my HOF speech. Next stop, tomorrow.
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Montovon
