I Did It For ME!!!!
Why did you quit???
As if the first week of our quit wasn’t bad enough I must have answered this question dozens of times throughout the first few weeks of my quit. I am sure many of you were faced with the same question. KTC helped me find that answer and it was simple “I DID IT FOR ME” , not my wife, my kids, my job, nothing… I was tired of that shit running my life and was done with it.
I started dipping as a teenager like many others playing baseball in Middle School. I picked it up again as an adult and was a full blown 1 tin a day dipper up to as many as 4 tins a day at one moment for over 9 years until Feb. 13, 2009. I had kind of wanted to quit or cut back for over a year but it was not happening, why? because I really did not want to. The icing on the cake came when I met a gentlemen in a hallway of a public building and he asked me if I had a dip in. I laughed and said no (I had a fat one in). He then saw me again spitting into my coffee cup and said ” I have not been preaching this to anybody” he pulled down his lower lip and showed me a fresh scar where he had a cancerous lesion removed from his lower lip. I said yeah but how long did you dip for, he said not even 2 years, one small dip a day MAYBE on his way home from work. I walked away from him and said holly shit, I am really gambling with my life here. I then started to wheen myself off the shit, found KTC and on the 13th of Feb. said this is it, I am done and am doing it for nobody but myself.
My wife had begged me since she caught me dipping 9 years ago, I used to lie, hide it, and dip whenever she was not around or I wasn’t sleeping. She had my girls 9 and 6 trained to guilt trip me when I dipped in front of them, I did not care. I used to take money out of my kids fucking piggy banks to get money for dip so my wife didn’t notice it missing from our bank or my stash!! What a piece of shit junky that shit makes you. I also used to let my dog lie on the couch while my wife ran errands, he used to jump off the couch when she was blocks away and I could not hear her, giving me plenty of time to flush it, rinse my mouth and sit back on the couch! What an ass!!!!
Well I sit here today 111 days nicotine free 2 days after my daughters 6th birthday thankful as hell. I could not have done it without you guys, each and every one of you. This site was spot on with what was to come, what challenges lied ahead. The first 3 days were nuts. I got two I.A. complaints against me the first night I worked without it! I knew I needed to challenge myself, I work around people who use the shit daily. I carried a tin in my pocket for the first week. Yup, I needed it to challenge myself. I also had a tin in my work truck and truck for the first few months, not as a trophy tin but as a challenge. I knew if I wouldn’t cave that first week with the urge right in my pocket I would be able to handle many other challenges to come. After all I was quit and “I” decided I was done with it. Some people doubted me, one even told me to go ahead and cave 2 weeks into my quit (you can still go fuck yourself). Well here I am, it worked for me. Do I recommend it for others, NO but I would not fuck with their quit until given the opportunity to explain themselves.
Life without nicotine has been so much more enjoyable. I enjoy hunting without dipping so much more, I did not think it was possible 4 months ago. I get yard work done quicker. My truck smells better, my kids don’t look at me with that disgusted look anymore!
Anyway….Thanks to ALL of May 09, each one of you one way or the other have helped and are helping with my quit. I would not have picked any other group to quit with. And a special thanks to my drinking buddy Tab, the ol’ wise owl Blueclaw, nmc, mike1228, sparky2001, jrod, sunflower seeds, gum, smokey mt, and hooch! I will continue to post every day I can and I urge all of you to do the same, let’s stay in this together. If you go missing I will hunt your asses down and expect you to do the same for me!
Thank You All,
Matt
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member huntemup
