Warning
This isn’t going to be your typical hof speech because, well I’ve done it already.
When I started ktc back in oct of 08 I was in the Feb 09 group. I did well with the quit and made it to hof with minimal problems due to the support of Ricko , Just Quit, Syndrome , and Packerfan. I guess you could say I was one of the leaders of feb09 as I was the longest quit and first to go through the many funks .After Hof i kinda got a now what feeling , feeling that i had the quit locked up and was good to go. I hung around the site until day 120ish and kinda drifted away .One night while driving late at night I let the ole nic bitch get into my head and let me think that just one wouldn’t hurt .i caved at day 140 , 20 days after leaving this site.For those who want to know how it felt to cave it was horrible , i felt sick , i felt like i let down so many people including myself.I threw that can away after the “just one” , but i had already let the nic back in.After a day i said well one didn’t kill so how about another so after a week i was back to a full can a day.
I wanted to come back and said i was gonna after this can , then after the next. Well there is no such thing as just one because it cost me 600+ days.I don’t know how it got into my head so fast , how i could become such an addict so fast again.I hated the feelings it gave me , the helpless feeling when you run out, and the feeling of letting down so many people.
I knew the only way to quit was to come back . I’m not gonna lie it was very hard to come back and face what i had done. I knew that i had to face my old group to start over.When i came back it was rough , but i deserved every minute of it.
The reason for this “story” is hope that those who are post HOF to stick around because it damn sure ain’t over at 100. I hope someone reads this and when the nic bitch tells them just one is ok they think of me and doesn’t make the mistake i did.
I would like to thank Rustaf, Cornwallace, SHAKE i mean fastest freddie, amgdenney , americanurse, sole, rocketman,Luke, and of course the guys from feb.
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member ROLLNHEAVY
