December 22, 2012 I spit my last dip out around 23:30. I was working nights and researching the effects of dipping snuff and high blood pressure online. And there clear as day every link I clicked on gave me the answer I did not want to see. At that point for the first time in my life I finally got scared about my tobacco use and what it was doing to my health. You would have thought a two day stint in the hospital for HBP a few months before that would have been enough to quit. For normal people it would be enough. But, not this addict. I am not normal. If it makes me feel good I want/crave more and more and more until it becomes not healthy. In my 26 years of dipping I did manage to stop for 14 days October of last year. But, decided I could not live without her and picked up the can again.
Somewhere in my first week I googled, how to stay stopped, and KTC came up. I clicked on it and have been hooked ever since. I have posted roll every day since my first day. I spent a lot of time those first months just reading. It made the time go by, plus I was learning about tools that I could use to slay the bitch when the craves would hit. Some days I would log on at least 10 times a day or more. I learned to reach out to a few that I noticed posted early and every day. Those are the ones I wanted to associate with. Posting roll is an honor and it is my way of telling myself not today. And it holds me accountable to my brothers in March 2013. And I kept doing this every day and it was working. Before I knew it I had 30 days, 60, and then 90 days. Wow, I couldn’t believe I was staying quit. I was also amazed that I could actually do certain activities without a dip in my lip. And then somewhere around 2 months, I started reaching out to the newer members. All this did was strengthen my quit one day at a time.
Fast forward to today. I am completely satisfied today not relying on a POS can that was slowly killing me. A hundred days is a big deal for me, but I also know it is only today. Whether it’s 100 or 10,000 days, it just a milestone. Life will still happen and I will have to continue my daily battle. I look forward to waking up tomorrow and posting/ committing to another day free from nicotine. To those that have been a part of my small network, I am grateful for you. ODAAT for another 24!