I’m Pist! – At Myself For Starting In The 1st Place

KTC Logo SepiaWell, hey there. Glad you took a moment to take a gander at this. I do believe your gonna be in for a treat. Let me introduce myself, I’m pist. Pistatmyself for starting in the first place. Ummmn, right off the bat with my name I wonder who else out there would be pist at their self? Oh well, this is my speech so let me go on. I’m pist at the fact that I didn’t tell the neighborhood friend of mine to fly off a cliff and take the can with him when he said “Oh it’s not that bad, just don’t swallow the juice”. I think of that day so long ago and think of the decision I made under peer pressure. I think, man, if I could have just said, “to hell with that” and did something else. But no, I gave in, just as most all of you that are reading this speech did.

I’m pist that I didn’t get caught by any of my high school teachers that walked right by me with that shit packed so far back in my mouth so it wouldn’t be seen. If only I could have been caught and got suspended from school it might have scared the crap out of me not to do it again. The one in the car before school, the one right after lunch by the bushes, the ones at the games, and the ones at Phys. Ed. I can take you to the very spot at my high school where I stood around with a group of buddies of mine and said, “I can quit anytime, I’m not addicted”, “I don’t see myself riding around in my car all alone at age 35 just dipping for the hell of it.” I turned 35, almost 3 years ago, I was 17 when I said that, I’m sure you can do the math..

I’m pist that somehow, I let something so bad go on for so long with nothing but denial in my heart. “It’s not that bad of a habit.” “It helps me concentrate.” “It helps me play better.” It’s not as bad a smoking.” I wasted so many years of my life making excuses to do something that I knew was ultimately going to kill me. Making selfish excuses because “I’m a big boy now, I can make my own decisions” and “I’m only hurting me.” I slowly deteriorated my mouth day by day thinking I could quit anytime.

I’m pist because knowing I was killing myself, I could not quit for the beautiful baby boy God so graciously blessed me with. How can a man put himself before his child? I’ll be glad to tell you how because I did it. You day by day gamble with a ticking time bomb in your mouth and “make excuses.” Excuses that brainwash you into thinking a different way of life. What a man……

Can I just stop for a min. and ask if any of what I’m saying hit home to anyone reading this? Well it should, it should not only hit home, it should hit you upside the friggen head. I’m pist that I didn’t have something or someone to hit me upside the friggen head so many years ago.
I’m pist because my life long friend had to tell me that the dentist told him he had the beginning stages of what looked to be mouth cancer before I finally just stopped my stupidity. What makes him any different from me? Not a damn thing, if it could happen to him, it could happen to me. He had done it just as long and just as much, if not longer or more then I had. We even shared a spitter. That’s my life long pal here, damn right we’d share a spitter. Stringy shit hanging from the bottle and everything.

This next one is a real good one, so listen up!

I’m pist because I didn’t find KTC earlier in my life. It’s because of this site that I now belong to something great. It’s because of KTC that I found a Brotherhood of people who know exactly how I feel and exactly what I go through. Where else are you going to find someone who will text you a picture of them literally falling out of a chair to make you laugh so hard you don’t go to the store and buy a can of shit to put in your mouth? So you won’t go back to killing yourself and destroying your family life. I am convinced that this place and its people save lives. It gives me that funny little feeling that makes things rise that I have a part of saving someone’s life. This place extends a hand out to people who are fighting an addiction that is bigger than them and provides such a powerful bond of life that will extinguish that addiction. I think of a quote in the movie Shawshank Redemtion that says “Get busy liven or get busy dyeing”……well?

To end, I would like to say that I’m pist at any amount of time cut short of my life to deprive my family because of my selfishness behavior. I would like to thank the most hottest specimen of a woman I am privileged to call my wife for being so understanding of my nose being stuck to this computer for the last 100 days and I prey to God our remarkable son never has to be pistathiself.

So as I stand before you all today with a big ass tear in my eye of happiness, I hear REO Speedwagon crankin’ up the tune, “Time for me to Fly” www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak6fZrkjWoA and the one thing I must tell you that I am not pist at, is that I must continue on my journey.

Hello….nice to meet you……I’m pist, pistatmyself for starting in the first place!!!

Just a little somthin extra for your viewing pleasure www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfqMX55Ubjc

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member pista

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