I didn’t plan to write very much (stop snickering NOLAQ). I planned to breeze through the HOF speech and not say much of anything, really. But then as I sat down to write this, I realized that maybe something I write here might be the post that saves a new quitter. After all, it was some of the HOF speeches I read 100 days ago that helped save me.
100 days is definitely a milestone I’m happy to reach, but it’s just a fraction of the amount of time I spent putting nicotine in my pie hole. Talk to me in 20 years. When I’m still quit then I’m sure I’ll feel more reason to celebrate. Right now I don’t want to think of 100 days — he Hall of Fame — as some “goal” I reached and now I can just move on. It’s really no different than 9, 99, or 199. Every day I wake up and quit. There is no alternative.
However, since it’s part of the KTC tradition and it’s an official invitation to say whatever I want about my first 100 days of quit and this site, I’ll write up my thoughts if for no other reason than to have a permanent reminder of how far I’ve come and where I still plan to go…
On Oct. 25, 2011, after checking out this site on multiple occasions over the years, I finally logged on and introduced myself. When I go back and read what I wrote that day I wince at the addict talk that filled the page. I wrote a nearly 1,500 word tome explaining why I chewed, how I’d gotten addicted, why I wanted to quit, etc. It was practically a HOF speech in and of itself. And while it was heartfelt at the time, and the facts contained in that intro are all true, it was also littered with addict speak and excuses.
You can read it here.
Some of you might find it informative, especially new quitters who think they’ve got it all figured out. You might see a little bit of yourself in that post.
I came to this site as a nicotine user. I was chewing nicotine gum and patting myself on the back because I hadn’t chewed tobacco in three weeks. Some of the hard-cores here at KTC quickly pointed out to me that I was clinging to my addiction, and the only way to kill the can for good was to quit cold turkey, post roll, quit and repeat.
There were harsh words. I resisted. I didn’t like being talked to like a chump. I refused to go along with the notion that posting roll every day was important to my quit. I didn’t take this site seriously. I was not all-in. I was not drinking the Kool-Aid. Nobody believed that I would make it to the end of the week, much less to the Hall of Fame.
I decided that the best way to give NOLAQ, Chewie, Tarp, and Syndrome the finger was to show them that I could — and would — quit for good. That was a shitty reason to quit. It was selfish and petty. But then something happened. People reached out to me. The more time I spent on this site, talking to fellow quitters in chat, reading HOF speeches, reading what was happening in other groups, etc. I saw that nearly everyone at KTC is a lot like me in so many ways. KTC is made up of lawyers, construction workers, sports videographers, Iron Men, restaurant owners, scientists, students, etc. We come from diverse backgrounds, heritage, financial situations, etc. yet we all share a common bond: we are all recovering nicotine addicts who are committed to quitting and helping others quit.
Once you understand that you are an addict, once you accept that this addiction is not a sickness or a condition that can be cured, once you realize that nicotine addiction is part of who you are for the rest of your life… only when you realize all those things… then you can learn to cope and deal with it. You do that by listening to those who have gone before you and learning from their mistakes. You do that by reminding yourself every day to stay quit, and you make promises to your brothers who you sure as SHIT don’t want to let down.
Some of the most valuable people to me on KTC are those who caved and came back and helped us all understand how it happened and what they were doing to make sure it didn’t happen again. Those people know who they are.
I remind myself that I’m an addict every day by posting roll on this site and promising to the badass quit brothers in Feb. 12 that I will not chew today or any other day.
My name is Bigsky406 — aka John — and I am a nicotine addict. At Day 100 I promise not to chew today. I plan to make the same promise again tomorrow, but for now I quit today.
Thank you to all who have helped me keep my promises. You know who you are.
Specifically I want to thank…
NOLAQ – For being the asshole who drove me to prove you wrong. And for being a great example of a badass quitter. Whatever it takes, right?
Wastepanel – For being brutally honest about your own faults, and making sure we all learn you’re your example. Besides being a badass quitter, you are also leader of the rarest, humblest kind. Thank you.
30 – For encouraging me at every step, and for helping me lead my quit brothers out of the drama and into the HOF.
Bearnomore – For being there every fucking day with me. Stride for stride. Proud to quit with you bro.
Tex and Cornholio – For taking Feb. 12 to a new level and inspiring us all, as a group, to stick together every day.
Dippshit – Just cuz you’re awesome.
KobeJr. — For being my biggest cheerleader, and the first brother to reach out in a time of need. You’re a good example of what this site is all about.
Luby – For being about 100 days ahead of me and inspiring my quit.
Chris231 – For being my enthusiastic quit brother and supporting my efforts to drag Feb. 12 out of the drama stage.
Lone Dipper – For not letting me down.
mcarmo – cuz you’re a badass.
Instagator – For your friendship and support.
There are probably many others I owe thanks to, but you probably know who you are. Mostly, thanks to the founders of this site for creating a free and amazing resource that has help thousands of guys like me Kill the Can.
I quit with all of you bad ass quittin’ motherfuckers. Today and every day.