1,000+ I Am Not a Legend

Not The Legend of ZeldaI am not a legend.

But I’ll tell you: I am still a QUIT GOD.

Quitting is the one arena where I am flawless. I am perfection. DeanTheCoot is to quitting what Jean Claude Van Damme is to flying spin kicks.

So, although anyone who knows me understands that I am humble, and that I know I am ever-vulnerable, I’m not going to pay attention to any of that shit. Instead, I am going to focus on how much ass I kick. I am going to post my

Day 1,669

and share a few thoughts.

1. Tobacco/nicotine transcends genetics. You know how some people are simply born athletes? They’re just built that way, physically and mentally? They can excel in any athletic situation without even trying?

You know how some motherfuckers are just plain good at math? From birth, they owned that shit?

You know how some people are born to be masters in the fine arts? Drawing, painting, sculpting? Just naturally excellent in these areas?

Well, I am a born addict. Becoming addicted is what I do well, naturally. Like nobody’s business. I am excellent at being completely unable to exhibit moderation. I am excellent at getting addicted.

Right now – and I shit you not – I CANNOT STOP EATING TRAIL MIX ONCE I START. I cannot turn away from walnuts, dried pineapples and raisins, for Christ’s sake. This does not happen to people who do not have my gift.

This is me. This is my life. It’s not one of the more sexy natural strengths, but it’s the hand I was dealt.

There are others here exactly like me.

But you might not be one of them. I do not believe that addiction is addiction. I do not believe that we are all the same, even if that’s the boiler plate of KTC, AA, and other help groups.

And that’s what makes tobacco so scary.

It’s the great equalizer. Nicotine is so strong and so addictive, it takes a person who would not otherwise succumb to addition and OWNS that person – sooner or later.

In that sense, we all come to KTC as equals.

2. Face the facts. Given the preceding, the sooner you accept that you can never control tobacco, the better off you’ll be.

I’m not saying that accepting this fact is the answer. You’ll still have to fight.

But brothers and sisters, you are going to fail with 100% certainty if you don’t wrap your head around never touching tobacco again. No mas. Ever. It’s gone. Kaput.

If you hang on to the possibility that you’re going to use tobacco again, one of two things is going to happen, or both: Your quit will be almost impossibly difficult, or you’ll cave.

The former applied to me. The “one day at a time” strategy is a critical one. No doubt. But you NEED to close that door FOREVER…in your MIND.

Once you do that, the days start getting less crushing. You think about tobacco less often. The mental piece of addiction begins to recede because you’ve taken away the power that tobacco has: That it’s some delicious, glorious, fantastic thing that will one day once again return triumphantly to your slick bloodstream.

In three words: Fuck that shit.

I wouldn’t be on Day 1,669 if I had the mindset that I had on Day 69. Close the door.

3. Never, ever leave KTC. The following is a fact that is lost on a lot of quitters in the 30- to 300-day range (and bless their sweet hearts for it, for it forms the basis of being accountable, calling out slackers and generally kicking ass): Some people will never “get” KTC.

There’s a dude or two in your group right.fucking.now that you THINK is speaking your language. He says all the right shit about accountability and brotherhood and whatnot. He might be quit 50 days or 150 or more.

But he doesn’t get it.

And he might NEVER get it.

It’s not entirely his fault. He hasn’t close the door. Maybe he’s unable to do so.

The tricky part is you usually can’t tell who these slippery sons-of-bitches are. They’re like little devils. Little fucking vials of quit poison that will come back after you and a handful of dudes in your group have been posting regularly for several months – or years. They come back and post a Day 1, and you’re blind-sided. That’s when they reveal themselves.

Or, most often, they don’t reveal themselves at all. The same guys you talked to every day for 100, 250 or 365 days just disappear.

Could they have ever really “got” what KTC is all about?

No.

That’s a fact.

So, what’s the common thread here?

There was a time when you were all together, all quit. Can you guess when that time was?

Yep. It was when you were posting at KTC. You were quit. And it was good.

It’s difficult for a gal or guy who has been quit for only a few weeks to grasp being at this site – even just every once in a while – for a lifetime.

But that’s what it takes. Can a diabetic accept that he needs insulin every day, forever? Yeah, he sure as hell better, if he wants to stay alive.

KTC is no different. You’re going to need it for the rest of your life. Not every day. But always.

If, of course, you want to stay alive.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member DeanTheCoot

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One Comment

  1. True, you got to make that commitment in your mind, close that door as you say.

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