TJ – The Look of Disappointment

I am an Addict, but I can control the Addiction.

For about 13 years I’ve been addicted to Nicotine and Tobacco, I had a dip in constantly, thinking it was actually doing something for me.
The excuses, it helps me stay awake, oh my mood is off I need a dip so on and so forth. I convinced myself for all these years that I need it.
I’ve had many attempts to “Quit” but none were successful, I wanted to quit but would fall back into the same pattern wondering is it possible?
I started heavily at 18, smoking cigs and dipping, vapes became popular the build your coils and dripping, I fell into that as well.
The thought well it’s not tobacco I can quit easier; Well, that’s a lie.
The years go on, I’ve gone from dipping tobacco, Long cut, pouches to cigs & dipping to vapes back to Long cut/pouches. I then started with nicotine pouches,
if I remove the tobacco that’s one part gone how hard can it be? The answer is Hard.

Prior to joining KTC, I “QUIT” again, at least so my wife thought, I have now became a closet dipper, sneak a can before work, dip it all through the night
throw away the evidence and repeat. This went on for a week or so before I was caught because the expenses didn’t add up.
I was out of dip, got home from work and my wife was getting ready for work, I asked her if she wanted a Monster Java before work
she agreed. My addict brain was happy, she’ll never know. I went and got drinks, and also a can of Cougar Wintergreen Long Cut, but I wouldn’t
have a dip until she left for work. Busted, the question came if I was dipping again.

The Look of Disappointment
i was caught up in my lie, but my addict brain said it’s okay. I came clean, and it came crashing down, I’ve lied to my wife
who has supported me, I’ve lied to my daughter who looks up to me I stared at the wall as the door shut I knew I had to do something.

I started googling How To Quit Nicotine and I found Kill The Can website. I found it on Facebook as well and joined the group. I took a leap of faith and
logged into discord to join not knowing what to expect but am I glad I did.
The first person to greet me was Dweirick in the Welcome Zone, I threw this fresh can of dip in the garbage, something about this seemed right.
I still didn’t know what I was in for, but I had no dip now, knew I needed to quit for myself first and then my family because I want to be healthy and
there for them and all this product was doing is killing me faster than needed.

I Joined
I was placed into the August 26 group, there was a few others that were in the group as well. The beginning of quitting sucked, the brain fog, the cravings,
lack of sleep. The advice of reading all the information and staying busy, drinking water and coming to the discord when needed helped. I spent a lot of time
reading back through prior years, the Hof speeches and looking at the Vets promise count seeing hundreds of days showed me, This Is Possible!
Some time after being in the group we were offered to take over the SSOA – Spreadsheet of Accountability, was the best thing for me, helped me
stay focus on not only my quit but as a team. I’m proud to be quit with each and everyone of you in August 26.
I want to say thank you to everyone that comes into the group and offers advice or just to have a chat.

Advice from me
If you think this is impossible, you’re wrong, this is 100% possible and I recommend you join the discord, the support and accountability is really game changer.
The quote “Remember why you quit and keep going” stays with me, and I never want to fall back into the addiction
Stay active in your group, and when you’re comfortable venture out to other groups and post your promise with them as well.
Accept that you’re an addict but YOU CAN CONTROL THE ADDICTION!
Be apart of your group
Take it One Day At A Time. While the beginning may suck, it does get better!
Don’t quit forever, quit for today, and when tomorrow comes, Do It Again!
Post your promise first thing when you wake up

END
To end my 100 DAY HOF speech, I just want to thank each and every one of you, KTC has helped me in ways I cannot describe and my goal is to pass any knowledge I can to the newer groups going forward
because truly We Are All In This Fight Together. We may always be an addict but one day at a time we can overcome it together.

Thanks for reading,
TJ – August 2026
HOF – 8/22/2026

NOTE: This piece written by TJ