2009 HOF Speeches

Dear Mr. Skoal

whydleary avatarDear Mr. f’in SKOAL,

When I was 16 I purchased one of your f’d up products and it nearly made me sick but because of my addictive personality and screwed up way of thinking I thought I would try it again and again and again and again because it was Cooooool. I was a complete fucktard.

I’m 34 now Mr. f’in SKOAL and thanks to a bunch of guys on the KTC website I can say that I don’t want or need your shit anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know there are times when your ugly f’in face pops up in my twisted head but they are becoming less and less and hopefully someday I won’t even recognize who the f u are.

So where does that leave our relationship? Well you were there for me so many times both good and bad. In fact you were there for me so often that I didn’t know how to get along without you and its nobodies fault but mine. Despite the fact that you were my f’d up way of relaxing I’m going to have to bid you a farewell. There is no more space for you in my life. My wife, kids, friends, family, and the men on KTC are going to fill the void that has been created do to your absence.

As I say goodbye I beg of you to keep your f’in claws away from the young and naive. You need to realize that there is no benefit to your product and it only hurts people. It has hurt so many of us and yet you continue to push it. Please, please, please let us be.

Lastly, as you change your evil ways please remember to visit the KTC website and in particularly the September 09 “The Crave Assassins” and have a talk with some of the bad ass quitters in there. They are a little f’d up but trust me they will help you because they have helped me.

Good f’in riddance,
whydleary – 100

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member whydleary

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