Holy moly! 100 days already????? I am honored to stand before you today 100+ days clean from the evil, nasty weed that we call tobacco. Although it was a personal goal to quit, and I was the one who quit, there is absolutely no way that I could have done this alone. That being said, I have a few people I would like to thank before I tell my story.
First and foremost, I would like to thank my beautiful girlfriend Brittany. When I told her I wanted to quit dipping, she was there to support me 100%. She was so supportive that, after she knew I was gonna try to quit, she got on KTC just to read and find out what it is like to quit nicotine and how she might could help. I know that I was probably short tempered and edgy, especially the first month or so, but she handled my moods flawlessly. She rewarded me for my progress along the way and believed in me from day one. I will never be able to thank her enough for what she has done for me throughout my quit. Thank you Britt.
Next, I would like to thank the March Madhouse. At first, it was a way to take my mind off of dipping, let out rage, or just bust a few balls on the board. But later on in my quit it became so much more. Sharing success stories over the nic bitch, being helped when feeling helpless to the cravings, showing support to other quitters as if their quit was just as important or more than that of their own, and being held accountable to that very important promise that is made every morning. You guys and gals have helped change my life forever. Thank you Madhouse.
My story will probably sound pretty familiar. I remember my first dip ever (other than the time I got ahold of my grandpa’s chew when I was very, very young). It was 4th of July, I was 14, and I just wanted to be cool like any other 14 year old. I got offered some fruity skoal flavor, cant remember which, but I tried it. I remember the exact feeling, I almost rolled down the hill while watching the fireworks. That was my first taste of nicotine.
Now, I actually didn’t start there. I didn’t start until I was 16, honestly because I needed an alternative to cigarettes. I played sports in high school and I could notice the effect that the smoke was having on my performance. Also, I just thought that dipping looked way more badass than smoking. My uncles did it and they were badass, so why not me?
Well that was it. I was hooked. Every day or so, I would have one of the seniors on my soccer team go grab me a can from the store by my high school before practice. I would dip whenever and wherever, as long as I could keep it hidden from my parents. Then, before I knew it, I had been dipping a can a day for about 8-9 years, and I loved it to be honest.
I never wanted to quit dipping, never. I liked it, I knew the risks, but I mean the chances of cancer are still pretty slim and it seemed like a cool thing to do. Where I come from, dip wasn’t for the weak, it was for the MANLY. How fucking dumb!! I even felt stupid for just typing that. I know now that I was incredibly weak. I was letting the nicotine drain my money, kill my body, and dictate my actions. But with a little maturity and one specific “AH HA” moment, I began the journey to conquer my addiction.
That “AH HA” moment I mentioned, happened at work. My gums where I would normally have my dip were hurting, like really, really sensitive to the point where any touch to them would sting like crazy. It has happened before, but it seemed like this one was a little worse. The moment I decided to quit came next. I put a dip in anyways. Even though my gums were hurting so bad, and I knew a dip would make them sting even more, I still fell powerless to my nicotine addiction. I put a dip in, no longer because I wanted to, but because I NEEDED to. That, my friends, scared me. That is when I knew that it controlled me. That is the first time in my life that I wanted to quit. And that is the day that I searched the internet and found this site.
The rest of my story is on the march message boards. The struggles of my quit, the success stories, the quit rage; it’s all there.
For my 100 day celebration, I went to dinner and a movie. This time, after dinner, I didn’t have to try to get my “after dinner dip” in really fast or wait in the car to finish it before purchasing our movie tickets. At the theater, I didn’t have to ask for an extra cup so I could stuff a few napkins down it for a spitter. I didn’t have to sneakily open my tin so that the other movie guests wouldn’t notice. I was free. I am free.
I plan to keep it that way.