6,570 ish DAYS!
9,855 cans of CANCER!
I almost feel as if I don’t have to say anything else! You all know the story. We have all lived a variation of the same hell. I was young when I started chewing. I often wish I could go back and choke the guy who gave me my first dip! Id be in jail still today….
I have tried to quit so many times I have lost count. Each night I went to bed the last few years, I vowed to not chew in the morning, and each morning I had to run to the store and buy my 2 tins. My wife used to yell at me for throwing cans out at night when I felt motivated only to buy more in the morning. Such a waste of money!
It all turned around in April when I thought I saw signs of cancer in my mouth. In terrified desperation I turned to the internet! I quit cold turkey with out any help! I made it almost 2 weeks before I started again. FOOL! It was very soon after I came upon KTC and started to read. I quit cold turkey again with new motivation from the fellow members here. And then I caved!…. I felt terrible! I stayed away for a couple days but I KNEW what I was doing was wrong and maybe even fatal. I couldn’t stay away! I had a few numbers in my phone and I used them to connect with a few of my previous supporters. They helped me get back in and pushed me to answer my 3 questions. So the ride began again! I caught some holy hell…. And I needed it! It kept me pushing forward. I felt like shit for awhile, But there were people I talked with on the phone and texted that made it a little more bearable.
This last 100 days has been a journey! I have learned a lot about myself and what it means to be a man of Honor! Until I understood my quit I was a weak man who had no backbone. I wanted to quit but I did not have the fortitude or the tools I needed to see it through. I promised my wife countless times that I would quit and countless times I let her down. I was a shame to myself! And my wife! Now I have honor in my word and integrity in my quit! I can wake up in the morning and KNOW that I will NOT chew today! I may be tempted, but I will deny the urge because I have the tools I need and the integrity to honor my word I give my brothers here on a daily basis! Quitting has been the hardest thing I have ever done, but also the simplest! Chew will not just fall from the sky and land in my mouth. It has to be put there by me. And that is a choice I will not make! Simple!
I have to give a shout out to my boys here who have made the biggest impact in my quit!
ERUSSELL….. You have kept me pushing forward each day with the knowledge of how it would feel to break my word to you again! I often read the letter you posted in a new thread in the intro section with my name attached. That letter reminds me that my quit effects more then just me. It also reminds me of how it feels to have to face your brothers/ friends here when you cave! You keep me motivated with your accountability in our group daily. I talk and text to you the most! You have been a great friend here. I thank you!
SRANS…… You are in the same boat. Always pushing me forward to “open the next door”! You were one of the first to welcome me, and one of the people I turned to after my cave. You were hard on me but didn’t give up. You showed me that it could be done and pointed out the path to the next door. And you were right! The view is good! Thank you!
WORKTOWIN….. I feel like me and you have a lot in common, and that has been good for me here. Quitting, Losing crazy weight and we both do the same type of work. It seems like you text me when ever I am in a stressed out mood and have something to say that makes me focus again and feel a little better about what I am doing! Thank you!
Jayd41….. You were instrumental in my quit as well. We both joined at roughly the same time, and I have enjoyed texting and talking with you. I think we would get into trouble if either of us made the 8 hr drive to each other! Most of our texts are venting about things we read on the site or thinking up ways to get people riled up. Both are great distractions! Thank you!
TRAUMA…. What do I say about you? You make me laugh daily! I love our truck wars. It breaks up the day, especially when we are able to get other people involved! You also hold me accountable and talk to me when things are going rough! You have truly been a great asset! Thank you!
Everyone here has been an inspiration in my quit. whether it is a caver or someone who reaches out and helps others! I learn from everyone!
My advice to others would be simply…… Spread your net of accountability far and wide! Make your presence so great that if you miss roll or are too quiet, Some one will come find your ass and drag you back into the mix!
Thank you KTC! I have my life and my freedom for the first time in my adult life!