Last night while posting day 951 my quit buddy SHOW made me realize that I failed to post my HOF speech. Day 100 was a blur to me because my father had passed away a few days before my HOF and my family and I were cast back into “the fog” and posting roll had taken back seat to grieving the loss of my father. Thank goodness for friends like SHOW, tom, T-COPE, the March 2010 quit group, and many more who have helped me kick a lifelong habit which would have surely killed me and perhaps my son if his father didn’t quit the habit and begin to set a better example.
I am addict. Yes, although I have not placed a dip into my mouth in almost almost 3 years, I am still hooked on nicotine and like all of the quitters here, I’m just one dip away from being able to say “I can’t do it.” “You can’t do it!” was what my wife said to me as she was overcome with tears the night I was about to head to the Kwik-E-Mart at and cave from the most important quit of my life…the one that finally stuck. I had made it to the evening of day 3 like I had so many times before, the urge to get that “one last dip” in before I went to bed was so darn strong that I was ready to throw the misery of the previous 48+ hours into the wind and go get my fix…I would just quit some other time. But this time was different, because the woman whom I loved, the woman who always counted on me to be there for her and our family, the woman who I had promised I would do anything to ensure that she and our children would always be safe even if it cost me my life, had just told me the “I couldn’t do it!” They say “The truth hurts” and damn if it doesn’t, but there was one thing “they” didn’t know. I had just been called out by the most important person in my life and thanks to being a stubborn SOB I was going to prove her wrong cause, dammit!, she was right! What? You ask what kind of wife would tell her husband that he couldn’t quit dipping? One that has made excuses to our children while Daddy was hiding from them in the bathroom having a dip. One that has cleaned spit, dip-buggers, and collected countless spit bottles and other dip paraphnalia for almost 17 years. One that has “in a pinch” given me her last five dollars so I could go buy my fix and “calm the hell down” that’s who. The kind of wife who has been shat on soley for the purpose of fulfilling a nicotine craving. You know the kind of person I’m speaking of, we’re all the same…addicts.
I sat down at the computer late that evening and started surfing quit. Accidentally found my way to KTC and spent the next few hours reading, looking at photos, and learning your stories, tried to post several times but just couldn’t figure it out. Interestingly, after going to bed that morning and waking up, the “Super Urge” that had caused me to cave so many times before was gone forever. I like to believe that it was the last of the nicotine leaving my body as I have never had another craving like that since that night. Sure, I still had cravings to deal with for about a year or so but not like the ones that always took me down. I have been quit for almost 3 years now but I damn sure didn’t do it on my own. Everyone here has contributed to my quit but those whom I hold close are special to my quit are; tom, without who’s calling for accountability I would have never worked my way to posting roll, the March 2010 Quit Group (We’ve been through some heavy stuff together, thank you) and T-Cope for coaching me along the way my brother Rangers Lead The Way! Also, special thanks to club foot Terry, hope this clears some things up you hope you’re entering ass-kickin’ contests soon you crazy rascal…thank you.
Now for all of you new quitters who may be reading this while trying to decide “How am I going to do this? or wondering if “I can do this?” Answer is: “Yes you can!” They say everyone is different but if you’ve read “What to expect when quitting” www.killthecan.org/your-quit/what-to-expect-when-you-quit-dipping
I’m pretty sure that after three days your quit will start to get bearable, it did for me. So dig deep, gut it out, and you’ll make it to the other side. It’s gonna suck a little, well, it’s gonna suck a lot, but you can do it. “You just have to want it.” Also for you folks who are under 365, I can honestly say that after a year and some change, I have not and do not get any cravings, so yes, for me they went away all together.