I see now why our parents don’t want us to use tobacco or drink until “college” or some other arbitrary maturity landmark. The desire to quit an addictive substance takes a lot of maturity, courage, and discipline that is often non-existent in younger brains.
The literature has shown that the PFC or prefrontal cortex is generally not fully developed in humans until after the mid-twenties. That is the part of the brain that controls decision-making, planning cognitive behavior, and social behavior. If you have been around a gang of 15 year olds in a public place, then you will know what I am talking about. This is my second shot at a forever quit. I’m not talking about “I’ll stop for the new year” or “No chew November.” I’m talking about no dip forever. I think my maturity has made this one easier to wrap my head around. My lifetime is a concept that I more easily can wrap my head around at 36. I am less impulsive than I used to be, and I am less likely to be hanging around college friends away from the wives because everyone has small children now.
On my cave last time. I got a divorce and didn’t give a flying fuck about anything for about 2 years. I didn’t tie my quit to my ex or quit for anyone else. I just didn’t care about jack shit so I went to the extreme on just about every legal substance that will alter a person’s consciousness. I wanted to not feel anything. I hated waking up. I couldn’t fall asleep Watch for that devil. I started with a few cigarettes and a lot of booze. It was easy to transition to chew because it didn’t smell and I could do it at work. Lots of pilots chew. It’s not a customer-facing profession for most of the time.
I’m now down to quit for the long haul. I’m sitting at the hospital. My baby was born on Friday. She’s in the ICU. She had a complicated birth. I have no desire to chew. ODAAT. Stay quit my friends.