Ok, for those of you who know me, you know I am not much of a “blogger”, or story teller, ( that is Klark’s area!) but here goes. I have now made it one whole year without a dip of chew! I never imagined making it this far!
Let’s rewind to a little over a year ago. 6-21-2010, Fathers Day. After having a great day with the wife and kids, I was laying in bed watching tv. I had just spit the last dip of the day out, and was thinking about going to sleep. As I was laying there, I started to taste blood in my mouth. I got out of bed, and went to the mirror. I pulled back my lip and saw what I was sure was cancer. It was a red sore with a white tip, and was slightly bleeding. My wife saw me looking in the mirror and came over and looked at my lip. She said ” Oh my god, what have you done?” I couldn’t believe it, I was only 29 years old, and was convinced that I had mouth cancer. I started thinking about the great day we had, and how that could possibly have been my last fathers day. I had a feeling in my gut, I will never forget.
The next day, I had the sore checked out, and was told that it was not cancer. I was relieved! I went on about my business, still chewing, when all of a sudden, I thought, What if next time, I am not so lucky? What if I really have cancer next time? What if I die? Who will coach my daughter’s softball team? Who will scare the shit out of her boyfriends some day? Who will walk her down the aisle (many, many, years from now), and cry like a little baby? Or who will be cheering for my son, on the sidelines of a football game? I thought, there is too much left for me to do in this life. I am not ready to die!
I had joined killthecan.org a month before, but never posted roll. I just read a bunch of the stories, and kind of forgot all about it. The following day, I logged on, and started reading again. This time it was different. This time, I could feel the words sinking into my brain. I knew what I had to do, and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy! 6-23-2010- Posted day “one”, on the site. Right away, I was welcomed by all kinds of people. Everyone was asking how they could help me, and offering their phone numbers. I thought this was so strange, and I didn’t want to give my phone number to anyone. After a couple weeks, it started making sense to me. This place really works! I started giving my phone number out to people, and storing their number’s in my phone. I started texting them, when I was having a tough day. I started helping out with brand new quitters. It is like I found a new home, a place I belong to!
Fast Forward 100 days after my quit date. 9-30-2010, I woke up, and went to the kitchen. There on the kitchen table was a homemade card from my wife and kids, congratulating me on making it to the Hall of Fame. They were so proud of me! I stood there, with tears rolling down my cheek, smiling! They remembered! I didn’t remind them, they just knew. It occured to me that, this was something that was just as important to them, as it was for me. I did something I never thought I could do. I went 100 days without a dip of chew. It was one of the happiest, and most rewarding , days of my life.
Fast forward to today, 6-23-2011. I have now been dip free for one whole year! I spent another Father’s Day with my family! Do I still have craves? Yes, but I am able to control them. I am very active on the quit site, always trying to help the new quitters out. I have not met too many people in person from the site, but I feel as though I know them really well. They are my friends! I look forward to quitting with these fine people for many years to come. We are all addicts, and we always will be, but we are winning this battle against the nic bitch! I know how far I have come, and how I never want to go through that again! Sorry for the long speech, but I just felt it was necessary on this day!
radtech04 – One Year Quit!