2018 HOF Speeches

The Nic Bitch – She’s Really a Bitch

Happy St. Patricks' Day From KillTheCan.org!I made it to 100 days! How exciting is that?! The number 100, while cool, isn’t the exciting thing for me. I’ve found a way to quit that works. Call the 100 days a “proof of concept” and the results speak for themselves. I came to this site each morning and posted my promise not to use nicotine for that day, and it worked! Easy, right? Well, quitting is easy….it’s also super fucking hard! Quitting would be all peaches and cream if it weren’t for the little devil that sits on your shoulder. We’ll call her the Nic Bitch. This is my advice to a new quitter when it comes to the wretched Nic Bitch…

It sounds a bit dramatic to say that your quit is a life and death struggle to beat down this Nic Bitch, but that is exactly what it is and she is a worthy foe. She will try to twist your thoughts, burn your throat, make you sweat and fill you with rage. It’s all part of her plan to get back in your life. She can also be super fucking sneaky. Like a sniper in a ghillie suit, she will bide her time and wait for the perfect moment to strike and like an MMA fighter with no ref, she will beat you while you’re down. She will make your life a living hell. It would be so easy to just give in…to go back to the good old days of toting a mouth-orgasming chew in your lip…WRONG! She wants you to romanticize your time together…to “remember the good times” except, there never were any good times. She’s fucking with you again. I 100% guarantee that if you go back to the Bitch at this point…you’ll be sorely disappointed. 

I bet you felt special when the Nic Bitch whispered some lies in your ear in the past, but no, her tricks are universal and someone else here has been through the exact same thing you’re going through now. Without prior knowledge of what I was going to face, I 100% would have a piece of shit in my lip right now and that pisses me off. Fuck the Nic Bitch! Fuck her and her cancer, hospital bills, family ruining, teeth rotting, making me a fucking liar ways. FUCK HER IN THE FUCKING FACE. I HOPE SHE DIES IN A DITCH TAKING A DEEP-THROATED DONKEY DICK IN MEXICO CITY!

Sigh….I’m ok now. The rage helps though…get pissed at her. It also gets better with each battle you win. Much MUCH better as time goes on, I’m told.

I haven’t come up with a single original thought in my speech so far and that’s not surprising….I’m not a special snowflake that has a special relationship with nicotine and neither are you. Point is, so many people before me have gone through their own epic battles with the Nic Bitch and have shared the secrets to beating her. Those people are my quit brothers/sisters on this site. 
The best advice I can give is to scour the site for information…take it all in. Connect with your quit brothers/sisters. Get involved in your group. Basically, push all your chips to the middle of the table. Day 100 isn’t some magic “cure” number either. The Nic Bitch still scares me, so I’m going to keep coming back to quit one day at a time. This is the way to beat the Bitch.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member CritRocket

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