I’m immensely grateful for this site, and the major role it has played in helping me quit chewing Copenhagen. I am grateful for the people on this site, especially those in my quit group. But what I am most grateful for is the knowledge that I have gained from being here. It is one thing to understand something intellectually. But it is another to understand it in your heart. It is then that lessons play a role in shaping your future actions. My time on this site has helped me “internalize” several things that I had previously only understood on an intellectual level.
I have learned that someone can spend one minute of their time conveying some encouragement, recognition, or commiseration and it will improve my mood for hours, if not more. I can’t even recount how many times my spirit has been lifted by someone recognizing a milestone or letting me know one of my posts helped them in some way. It really gave me an extra jolt in my quit.
I have learned that people are willing to help me, all I have to do is ask for it. Asking for help is not unmanly. Being less than you can be because you fear being seen as weak is unmanly. When I was feeling down or having problems and asked for help, it wouldn’t be more than ten minutes before the cavalry came in.
Loved ones are called that for a reason. Given the opportunity, they will support me to the ends of the earth. I will no longer underestimate their ability to help or take them for granted. My wife, brother, and friends have been far more supportive than I would have imagined. If I had known I had this kind of support, it probably wouldn’t have taken me so long to quit. In particular, I want to thank puckhead (mar 07) and pitthull (apr 07). These guys work side by side with me every day and chose to join me in this fight rather than be another roadblock to my success.
I have learned that talk is, indeed, cheap. For me, it was telling myself that I was a good husband and father in other areas, so if I was chewing, the scale still leaned in my favor. The bar was simply not set high enough. My aspirations are not to be an “on balance, pretty OK husband and father” (which is pretty hard to do if I’m dead anyway).
I have learned to cut people some slack when they are going through a tough time. There were times during my quit when I was a complete asshole and made no sense whatsoever. During these times, my family and friends stuck by me. I intend to do the same when others are having hard times.
Pride can be your fiercest ally or your most dangerous enemy. There were many times when my pride simply would not let me consider chewing. There were also times when my pride would tell me that I wasn’t going to share personal information with strangers, or go into a chat room, or order toothpicks off the internet (all of which I did). I’m going to be careful with what my pride is telling me. Its not always acting in my best interests.
I am able to make positive changes in my life that I previously thought would be too difficult. Quitting dip has been really, really hard for me. So far, I have been successful. The things standing in the way of me being a better friend, husband, father, and person are tiny compared to the wall I’ve been scaling to quit dip. If I can do that, I can do a lot of these other things, too.
I hope to carry these lessons forward in my life both on and outside of the site.
I’d also like to express my appreciation to TJHook, mjordan912, and gi kea for showing me how to post roll and making me feel welcome on the site and my “twin” TheBearKiller for posting with me every day.
FranPro, TimOneSock, thedude, sbtzc, and the many others that spend time in chat – thank you for being so generous with your time and helping those new to the site or going through craves. I really admire you guys for that.
Thank you SirDipNoMore and Dodge for diligently taking care of our group and keeping it together. You guys made the March group immensely successful and we all owe you a great debt. SirDipNoMore isn’t the smartest, or funniest, or most handsome guy on the site.
Thanks to the vets posting and supporting the new guys and the new guys posting their feelings. These posts have enlightened me, entertained me, inspired me, and kept me on the right track.
Matt and Flavious – don’t miss the forest for the trees. What you have done here is incredible and many people owe a good portion of their better life to you guys, including me.