How long can you quit for? How long can you go without nicotine? Do you have “triggers?”
Maybe I should ask, how long can you see ahead? How far into the future can you look? Where does it get hazy?
One step at a time. That step could be measured in floors (100 days of quit) or in seconds. I only know that I can quit one step at a time. Sometimes the steps were murderous. I felt like I was falling, I had lost balance. No, a strong hand or a strong word brings me back to now. One step forward, always further on. Never back the way I came.
Many have taken these steps. Many take these steps now. Some will fall with time others won’t. What separates them? Who measures the quality of step and when can we find fault?
The difference is weight. I walk this journey as others have before me. The deep well worn tracks are the safest. They have carried thousands to health, thousands to freedom, thousands to life. The weak do not make a deep impression. Those that go their own way leave shallow tracks. They are not strong or right. The wind blows and the memory of their passing fades. I look for the steps, carved deep into stone. They guide me. One step at a time I search.
This weight is discipline. It is every day. It is every second. It is choice. It is ritual. It is one step.
How heavy the weight that cracks stone? How heavy the weight that breaks addiction? Can it be carried? Who will carry it forward?
One step. Measure it how you wish. Pick up the weight and carry it, one step. Never put it down. Always forward, never back. Find the deep tracks. Let them lead. One step at a time.