I’m a perfectionist, sorry for a lengthy HOF speech.
Hall of Fame sounds too formal for finally doing what I knew I should have done long ago. I feel a little stupid for not having mustered up the strength to quit sooner.
I know all the stories go the same…I started and puked, got a taste for it, tried to quit, now here I am years later. Mine is similar but that both my parents smoked and they would send me to the store to buy them packs of smokes and a gallon of milk or an 8 pack of Coke/Pepsi in the glass bottles (anyone remember those?).
When I was about 10, the neighborhood kids and I tried some Skoal but it was too loose and fell around in my mouth (along with the making me sick and all) so I never got the taste for fine cut. Thank God because I see how addictive Cope is and if I would have been able to do fine cut I am sure I would have went for the strongest.
I instead went with Swisher Sweet cigars to puff on in the mornings when I
did my paper route, at 12 years old only here and there, trying to be “like mom and dad” and have something “adult” to do.
I started smoking cigarettes around age 16 when my girlfriend’s brother offered me one to ease the pain of his sister breaking up with me. Somehow nicotine seems most desirable when we are not necessarily suicidal, but when we really don’t care about the way life is going at the time. “Stress at work got you down?” “Wish you could get away?” That is when the nic bitch wispers in your ear…”Fuck it” Part of this quit, at least for me, has been learning to NOT SAY “Fuck It” anymore and actually start caring.
From that point in my life till October 10, 2008 I used nicotine as a “feel good” drug, often without even knowing it. I quit smoking back in ’95 when I learned that I was not going to a dad. My great idea was to switch to dip, the nastiest route I could imagine for getting that much needed nicotine. Long story short is that I can not use nicotine in any form period. I am an addict and can not control the moderate use of this drug so I have made a decision to stop using it all together. I would not have succeeded if it were not for the help, support, mentorship, and success AND failures of my brothers here on this site. Every person I saw who was making it strengthened my belief in my own quit, every cave I saw strengthened my resolve to not surrender to the desire. It has not been easy, every day is some sort of struggle, but it has been something I can do with support.
The Navy has a “see one, do one, teach one” philosophy to training and when Grateful (Feb09) had the courage to out of the blue flush a brand new can of Cope that was sitting on his desk just 20 days into my own quit to become my Quit Brother, it was honestly the bravest thing I have ever seen. I have been to Iraq four times and seen combat on many fronts. It is not hard to be a hero in war, everyone wants to be John Rambo…it is hard to put down a can you have “needed” for so long and face each day without it…there is no Homecoming Parade for that hero. Every successful quitter here is a hero to me because you fight that fight every single day…Thank you to everyone and do not feel less loved if you are not mentioned here…
BBJ-Thank you for everything you do here, you are Ghandi like in your ways and a role model for us all. Kd4jet-thanks for your manly HOF speech that makes me not feel like such a wussy for having been weak myself. Animal5473-thank you for posting and supporting and letting us all see that real men CAN love little dogs. 11×4, Mule21, iuchewie, Smokeyg, Sweenz, QT, Timmay, bubblehed668, Quit_Aug, Ranteam, and anyone else who has gone before and lead the way…Thank you.
Jwendell, we can always remember our day by cheating off eachother! Thank you. Mike, you were one day ahead and we can remember your fight to keep us strong. Brad, Chewbaka, BC, ddevries, all of Jan09…every single one of you are great quit brothers and I’m proud to be with you.
Truckerick-you are a role model even if you don’t know it, even if you don’t have 5 million posts. You do the quit day in and day out and stepped up to the plate when I was sniffing around your group…Thank you.
Grateful-what can I say, we are always Brothers by being Navy Chiefs and by being Quitters. Thank you. You following my lead with this has actually led me to a rock solid , successful, not going to surrender QUIT! Thank you.
My family: Mandi thank you for supporting me I’ll always try to be the best Dad I can for you and quitting dip is one of many improvements I want to make in that effort. Gabby, I love you thank you for putting up with Dad’s grouchiness during this quit also. Faith, my baby, thank you for looking into my eyes with shock when you saw me put a dip in, it made me want to quit. Cody, my son, I will never play the “do as I say, not as I do” line on you. It was hard, but I will stay quit for you too. My wife, thanks for putting up with my quit fits.
Thank you, every one, and thank God for allowing me the time to be stupid while protecting me from myself and all the possibilities that my stupidity could have led to.