2013 HOF Speeches

BIG_E and the Napa Valley Quitter

big_eric avatarHey guys,
I don’t have anything magical to say about how I got to 100 days of quit. I just quit. And stayed quit. Got phone numbers, opened myself up to other members of my quit group and did the hard work of quitting.

I’ve tried quitting in the past; throwing away cans, flushing perfectly good dip only to start up the next day or even later in that same day. I’ve even used this site a few times, but wasn’t strong enough to stay quit. I wouldn’t use all the tools of recovery allowed to me. I quit on me – instead of quitting the nic.

My current job requires a lot of car travel – about 40k a year on the road. I loved my driving/dip time. At the end, I was consuming 2 cans a day. As soon as I woke up, it was head downstairs and get that dip in so I could be ok – just for now. If I went too long without the dip, I’d have an anxiety attack…small scale of course!

In past attempts to quit, I’d maybe get 4-8 hours of quit time, panic would set in and I’d give in. The longest streak was about 4 days while on a remote vacation – THE LONGEST VACATION IN HISTORY OF VACATIONS!

So, I decided to man up, humble myself and shoot with my doctor. We discussed a plan that included KTC, conversations with dr, and anti-anxiety meds. The first few days still sucked, I was FINE (FUCKED UP, IRRATIONAL, NEUROTIC, and EMOTIONAL). But posting roll and jumping on chat eased some of that. I didn’t say alot in the chat, but being around other quitters was sometimes the boost I needed. One night in the chat, suds, another member, insisted that I give him a call. I’m sure that it was to just test his phone connection, but the phone got lighter that day.

Over the last 100 days, I’ve gathered other numbers and have used them on a regular basis. Much love to cdaniels (Chris) your commitment to your quit and mine has been amazing.

We don’t have unique stories – same story, different details. So when a newbie says that we don’t understand how tough it is, THE HELL I DON’T! If you want to quit; come in, sit down, shut the fuck up, and do the work that YOU need to do for your quit. I can’t quit for you, but will go to the ends of the earth to support you and your quit.

I quit today,
big_eric (Eric)

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member big_eric

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