I wasn’t sure whether I had anything new to contribute in a Hall of Fame speech, since so many before me have already said anything I might share. But then I thought about active nicotine addicts like I was just 100 days ago and decided to speak to them.
You may have heard that nicotine and heroin are the most powerfully addictive substances around. I can’t speak to heroin, but my experience with nicotine tells me to stay far, far away because I am weak. In fact, I believe I have an addictive personality and nicotine had it’s hooks in me big time.
What do I mean by “addictive personality”? I mean that I tend to try to escape “normal” by the excessive use of something–nicotine, food, gambling, alcohol. There is some inner discontent that I seek to treat with quick fixes. I wish I had the answer to the healthy way to address this inner lack, but I don’t. What I can tell you is that nicotine doesn’t help.
Before I talk about why I think nicotine doesn’t help, I’m going to address the one thing I liked about nicotine and I may create some controversy by even mentioning it. But it is what probably hooked me and others may have experienced it. It may also be unique to dipping, because I don’t think there is another method of delivering nicotine that gives as high a level as quickly. I’m talking about the nicotine “buzz”. For me, it was an actual “high”, similar to alcohol and some of the other substances I used in my college days, but without the mental fuzziness. I wanted that again! But I couldn’t get it. I only experienced it with my first dip.
So; why doesn’t nicotine help people like me? Don’t addicts say it makes them feel good, help them relax and deal with stress? Yes, addicts say that, but they have forgotten what it feels like to be normal. Or, in the case of nicotine addicts who started as children or adolescents, they may have never experienced nicotine-free normal. “Normal” for an active nicotine addict is only when they have their fix. Otherwise, they are withdrawing and feel like crap.
You are going to have to trust me when I tell you that nicotine-free normal is WAY better than active nicotine addiction “normal”. Once you get nicotine out of your system (3 days), your body has to heal. It took me 2 weeks to start to feel normal again and it kept getting better for the first month. But don’t just take my word for it…try it out yourself.
If that was all there was to it, I could end my speech right here; however, for true addicts like me, even re-experiencing true normal wasn’t good enough. Even after going through 3 days, 1 week, 2 weeks of withdrawal multiple times, I still went back to my fix. Why? I think I was seeking my high again, but generally didn’t find it. But one can was plenty to get me fully hooked again. Sadly, I came to believe that I was incapable of quitting for good.
Yet, here I am 100 days into my quit, writing my Hall of Fame speech. What happened? I found this site. See, I still had a shred of dignity left that believed there was hope and got me to search the internet for quitting resources. After finding Kill the Can, I stopped searching. Everything I needed was right here. I could go on and on, but this speech is already long enough. Just start reading and keep reading. Learn all about your enemy nicotine. if someone as weak as me can quit, so can you!
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member steffano626