Besides the obvious, do you know what the difference between a boy and man is? A boy does what he wants to do and a man does what he has to do. By my own definition, I have been living a life of a boy for the last 36 years! Each time I placed the cancer in my mouth…..I did what I wanted to do. Each time I quit and subsequently caved, I did it…….because I wanted to. Every time my wife would catch me Ninja Dipping, oh we would fight, but the next day….I did what I wanted to.
I guess the origin of my selfishness begins much like everybody else. The year was 1990 something; I was pressured by the older kids/the cool kids to take a pinch of Copenhagen prior to middle school football practice. The level of nausea and sickness I felt has not been surpassed until my recent run in with the Dumbo carnival ride with my son. I left practice saying that I would never do that nasty stuff again; we all know how that story ends! Fast forward a few years, I’m a full fledge Ninja Smoker hiding (at least I thought I did) my habit from my family. Of course this habit continued through college, where I transferred to what I thought was a more socially acceptable form of nicotine delivery, Dip!
I have actually made it about 90 days before, when my first son was born I decided to quit and was pseudo successful until he had a bout of Viral Meningitis, that’s when I thought 2 problems is better than 1. Brilliant right!?! I wish I could say that was my last quit attempt before this successful one but it was not. I have tried the nicotine gum multiple times, but just ended up doing both; which actually aided my ninja dipping skills.
So what makes this quit different than all of its predecessors? Why am I so confident sitting her at day 136? Because I have December 2014 in my corner, I have a contact list of accountability on my phone and I have the toolbox given to me from KTC. That’s right, Kill the Can, the website I thought was lame, the website I thought I didn’t need because I wasn’t addicted. After all, I can really quit at any time, it’s just not the right time now because of [insert your lame ass reason].
George Jones said it best ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQMI7TksYo0 ), “I’ve had choices since the day that I was born. There were voices that told me right from wrong. If I had listened, no I wouldn’t be here today. Living and dying with the choices I’ve made.” I’m proud I made a choice to be a man, do what had to be done for me, my family and my future.