– 18 Year addiction. 5+ as a ninja.
– Started Dip at 16. First dip while shagging flys at varsity baseball practice
– First lecture about dip was the same day as my first dip. Coach flipped out, showed me how his gums were torn to shreds, and told me to not to be like him. I did not listen.
– Officially became an addict in College.
We used to build pyramids of our cans and put them in the dorm windows to show our cool. Some hockey players introduced me to Swedish Svensket Snus. I could put that in my upper lip and swallow the juice so I could dip through class and nobody would know. I was in my element and officially an addict.
– Number of caves = too many to count. – Number of planned caves = too many to count
– Intro to Ninja-ism : 2006
I first tried quitting dip back in 2001 after I met my wife. I actually made it a couple years cold turkey…then caved. Next came our wedding engagement. I quit cold turkey again and decided to have a celebratory dip for old time sakes, the night before my wedding. We went on our honeymoon and came home two weeks later to see the tin in my top drawer. For the next five years I became a master ninja dipper and battled myself through failed quit attempt after quit attempt.
– Date I grew up and decided to quit: 12.30.2011
I was researching smokeless alternatives and dip message boards in the wee hours of the morning. I found KTC and just started reading. I liked the sound of accountability and the idea of engaging other quitters who could relate with me.
I recognized that if I was serious about this, I needed to tell everyone I knew I was quit for good, and that my words could no longer be, “I’m trying to quit”. I AM quit. I was developing my plan to quit…This would be on 1/11/12 or 3 days before my daughters 3rd birthday.
When I woke up later that morning I had what would become my last dip. I remember hiding out in the bathroom dipping and thinking to myself about something I read earlier that morning “There is no better day to quit then today”. Then I thought to myself, “what the fuck are you doing still dipping? Why do you have to wait until 1/11 jackass, do it now!?”
I went downstairs and stared at my wife for what seemed like an hour. Finally I confessed that I had been dipping for years behind her and my now 3yr old daughters back. As expected, she had no idea of my secret. I apologized for what I had done to her and my daughter and flushed my last can of Kodiak down the toilet with her by my side. I sobbed. I told her about this special website and asked her to read about what to expect and check out the spousal support section. I reconfirmed to her that I was quit, and I needed help.
– First Roll Call (Day 2): 12.31.11
dethan33 – Day 1 – Last Dip was yesterday afternoon calling today 1. My goal today is to get through the day and not be a complete ass to my wife and daughter.
A few minutes later I get called out:
Loot – Today is Day 2 then sugar.
And dont take it out on your wife and kid. Its not their fault you are an addict. Welcome to the suck. Come to this board and let loose here. We can take it. We get it. We’ve been where you are. Welcome to the site.
Next, I received a PM with a phone number. Then another. 2 hours into my quit I had an intimidating loot acknowledge me and I had support and accountability to two fellow April brothers. Who is this blue bonnet character texting me, and why is he telling me its a beautiful day?
– April 2012
I have met some great people since joining. I appreciate the relationships I’ve formed with April 2012 and what we have been through together. I remember the successes and failures of our group and each has strengthened my quit. There are brothers here I will be talking to for years to come.
My daily commitment to April 2012 is just as critical to guarding my quit now as it was on day 2. I am an addict and I need the accountability April 2012 provides.
– Thank You – :
Aglawyer – Thank you for your continuous support
bluebonnetman: First brother to contact me. I need the old avatar for just one day.
cbird65 – No frills, no fluff. When cbird speaks you listen.
Coach Steve – Leader of the BBB and architect of the glass house. First brother I spoke to on the phone.
ERDVM – Ghey text sports name game got through craves
Hydro – saved me in chat
nodip44 – HOF Day Brother
Wastepanel – instrumental in helping me through the 20’s
To everyone else in April 2012 and anyone else whose path I have come across on KTC, Thank You. Lastly, to the founders of this great website and those who quit before me, Thank You.
This has been a daily challenge, good and bad, easy and hard, and has strengthened and rewarded me every step of the way. What you read is true. You go through ups and downs, rages, dip dreams, fixations, ETC. Each quitter is different and goes through the quit in their own way. There is so much knowledge you can take in from reading on this site. Sometimes there are heated arguments, sometimes there is over the top male affection. Whatever it is your reading, its taking your mind off wanting to use nicotine.
I will never forget how I felt during the first week of my quit and will always hold that close to me. Its a place I will never return to but need to remember forever. Lastly, I will never forget how I feel posting day 100.
See you tomorrow.
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member dethan33