My story is the same as most here, so I won’t bore you with how I started. I will tell you my motivation to quit. I wanted to be a better person. It sounds silly, but that’s really what motivated me to set a date and quit. I was tired of being tied to a small can of death. I was tired of having to double-check that I had it before leaving the house. I was tired of sneaking around. I was tired of being tobacco’s bitch! I wanted to become a better person. I had found KTC before I quit, but I had not joined. I was going to do this on my own. What a sucker I was. I made it to day 6 when I joined my Quit-Group. I had basically decided to cave, so as a last resort I thought I’d give this ‘brotherhood-shit’ a try. Like I said, I was ready to cave when SamCat pointed out that I couldn’t that day. I had already given my word that I wouldn’t. Well, shit…
I don’t remember a whole helluva lot about those next few days, but I did remember to post my promise every morning. It was amazing. Everything that the vets were telling me (us) was true. I started putting more & more trust into this site and my quit.
As the vanguard for the August group, I got to hit all of the funks before everyone else. Oh, joy! The vets were always there though to say, “hey, there’s one coming. Hold on”… I was sailing along pretty well when a funk hit me big time. It was late at night. I was pissed. I was craving. I was pissed (did I mention that I was pissed?). I vented on the board BIG TIME! My brother, Kernie, saw what was happening & helped me through (thanks, brother!). I made it pretty well after that until…
It was not a good day. The nic-bitch had thrown her own version of shock & awe at me. I was fogged up. I was craving like I was at day 1. I was mad. I was fucking insane. In all of that, I had the sense to get on the site and say, “Help”. If I had any reservations about my brothers being supportive, they ended that day. I had more support than I could even keep count of. It was not easy, but I made it through that day. I know without a doubt that I would not have without the support of my brothers.
After that, I kinda coasted into the Hall. I had some bad days, but nothing I couldn’t handle.
Looking forward, I know that I’m an addict.
I know what that means and what I have to do to keep clean.
I also know that whenever I need a helping hand, a slap in the face, or a kick in the junk, I have my Quit-Brothers.
Believe it or not, you bunch of peanut butter covered fuck sticks are a comfort.