Your Quit

My Friend (The Enemy)

The Enemy Within

I was introduced to my friend (The Enemy) when I tried to quit smoking. It seemed like a safer alternative right? I did not have the cough or the other so called side effects of smoking right? After several failed attempts on June 28th 1996 my friend (The Enemy) helped me quit smoking forever. (9 year habit) My friend (The Enemy) told me several times I would not be nearly as addicted to it as I would smoking so I figured I would use my friend (The Enemy) and then quit that. Well, my friend (The Enemy) began to turn on me. Numerous times over the next 4 years I tried and failed to quit. My friend (The Enemy) was making me feel horrible every time I tried to quit. It was making me feel worse than the days I tried to quit smoking. I was starting to hate my friend (The Enemy)

Finally, on July 21st 2000, (One day before my wedding) I made the decision to live my married life without what I will now just call my enemy. After all, my soon to be wife does not even know I have this enemy. Things went well for awhile but for some reason in late October in 2000 the enemy worked its way back into my life. I can just have one right, I said to myself? I am used to living without it and one won’t hurt?? Well, one became two and then three and so on. The enemy was back but with a vengeance. The enemy and I decided to keep it from my wife so she wouldn’t know. Well, that October decision has led to another almost 10 years with the enemy. The wife of course over time found out I have this enemy. I still hid it from her but she knew. You might say the enemy even kept me from my wife. After all, why else would I want to stay up when she goes to bed? So I can spend time with the enemy over her. Over the 10 years I tried to kill this enemy, after my child was born, when I turned 40 etc… My six year old son even called it “yuck stuff” and swore he would do the same thing when he got older. (Should that not be motivation or what?)

Well, here I sit on February 9th 2010. I have now lived 35 days without the enemy. The longest I have gone without the enemy since my wedding. I do not feel great but I am working on it. I wrote this just to capture some of my thoughts as I go through this. I am looking forward to adding more when I reach the HOF.

Thought I would share this with my April quit brothers. We all have our own stories. Now you know mine.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Steelers

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