2009 HOF Speeches

My Journey….

KillTheCan LogoWho would have thought that going on vacation would have sent me on this journey.

I had been a smoker for the past 10 years or so. It of course started out as a social thing I did while drinking with friends…just something to give that extra little kick. I think the worst part of it all was that I was old enough to know better. I was 27 years old, single and on top of the world and had no idea that I was about to become a slave to NIC….

I never realized until joining this site that I was even being controlled by my addiction. I guess I just don’t think about a lot of stuff that I should. But this site has made me realize I need to. Ok so my journey of Quithood…

I went on a weekend getaway to my Home Town and stayed with a friend…long story short I met a very nice guy named Dan…who knew the girl I was staying with…

We had a blast hanging out and became friends…. I never even knew he had been a Dipper before. I smoked the whole time I was down there. I guess it was a couple weeks later, back at home, I was talking to him on the phone and I casually said, “well, tomorrow I am going to TRY and stop smoking. I’m gonna get the patches today….”. He immediately stopped me and said, “Go right now to this website www.killthecan.org and get in chat!!!!” I thought to myself chat…whatever…and a website??? I laughed with him as he got me in there…Soon after we got in there I realized that not only was he an ex dipper he was the “MadXDipper!!!” The first guy I met was Theo. Wow was that an experience…we still laugh to this day about it. He threw around words such as Accountability and he kept bringing my daughter into it. I wasn’t too keen on his method for telling me to quit. Making me feel Guilty, what?? Who is this guy???? I was pissed!! Next up comes in JpCrew and jpine. What a trip they are together….at first they livened it up and got me laughing. I thought ok so this ain’t that bad now..but then they turned serious!! They yelled at me, they told me if I wasn’t serious about my quit than to get the hell outta here!!! OMG, and I thought Theo was an ass…. really???? Yeah these 2 had him beat. Ok when challenged and told that I can’t do something…look out because that gives me the drive to get it done. Here these guys are telling me to get lost cuz I CAN”T do it…and my eyes turned red with fury and I crumpled my pack of cigarettes up and almost tried to throw them straight through my computer at them. I was shaking with anger and I am not an angry person. Even though I gave my word that I was going to do this Cold Turkey…they still had no faith in me…that hurt me more than anything….

I set out to make it my personal goal just to spite them all and prove them wrong! I look back now and just really want to thank them so so much because it was because of this angry force that they gave me that got me through the initial suck of my quit! And I know now after 100 days that, that was their every intention!!!

HaHa, Chode Muncher’s is what we were started off being called by the Notorious Scuba Steve…yes now I can see the humor in messing with the newbies while they are still in such the fog!!! I am a bit over organized and extremely tedious. so I am flipping through my 3 inch binder of final daily roll postings and very important posts that rang true to me and my Quit…so y’all wanted my story…I hope you have the time lol as it is well documented. I will have to give thanks to one very special Quit Bro…MDG Welding…he realized what a dummy I was from the get go I couldn’t post roll for the life of me…so to all you new folk don’t feel so bad. Every morning for a good week at least I would get my early morning phone call at work so he could once again walk me through it. I can remember the actual conversation where he explained to me that we weren’t supposed to end up in a separate box…we should all end up together on roll…oh that bugged me cuz I really actually liked the box…lol Anyways, I finally got it and that is why I am so willing to help new quitters master the art of posting roll. Thank-you MDG you started so many of my days off on the right foot and have also given me great advise and also been there for me throughout my Quit!!!

Ok so lets see my journey took me back on vacation for an additional 17 days…this was to be my first vacation with no NIC. I stayed with people who even smoked. I am sooo thankful for this thing called chat…it saved my quit!!! I lived there..I still laugh about the fact that I stayed up on day 3 –day 4 for like 36 hours straight just hanging out in chat…keeping my mind off NIC and getting to know such awesome Quitters such as Kd4jet, he is the only man I know that can convince a woman that it is a compliment to be called a slut lol!!! Luv ya’ KD!!! Very wise man too, he knows how to push you to your limits and want to be a better Quitter and friend. So the thing they call “the fog” settled in very quick for me in the beginning… after realizing we could change our name for our group we voted and changed it to, “The CatHouse Beavers with TanLines, Will Be NIC Free or Die!” HaHa!!!…Oh Boy…RoyJester’s explanation using the analogy of Neopolitan IceCream omg hahaha…those were the days….

Ok day 14 is when it really hit me….I was looking through some stuff and saw what became the foundation of my Quit…a Brilliant post written by Skoal Monster. It was to become the foundation of who I wanted to be within my own group. I wanted to become this “KeyStone” to my group and start to weave my “Web of Accountability” amongst my very own November Quit Brothers… a Must Read!!! I believe I did just that. I built so much Accountability with them that caving could never be an option. I will say I didn’t get here without any bumps in the road though…I can remember on Day 15 starting to get really agitated during the course of the day. I was upset with the non posters and some that were MIA… I had been in chat and I know Franpro was seeing the changes in my attitude start to happen early on. By that night I started to have one hell of a Panic Attack. I couldn’t breathe… I was freaking out…without hesitation my phone rang…it was Franpro ready and willing to spend as long as needed to talk me down from this…I thought I was dying and had the landline ready to dial 911 cuz I couldn’t breathe. At the same very time I had another solid Quitter working from chat…typing away giving me good solid comforting advice trying to help, LaQuitter!!! It was then that I knew this Brotherhood worked. People cared…they had knowledge and the tools to know how to help. After calming down just a bit this is where my personal drive took charge and demanded some accountability from my group of Quit Brothers…its posted on 8/11/09, if you ever get bored….

I came home from vacation strong with my Quit and had a major plan ready to put in place. I made an extensive spread sheet detailed with everybody’s quit date and took roll daily. If they missed a day of posting their promise I made sure they knew it was noticed. I have been called a few names along the way such as, “Posting Police” and things of that nature but it wasn’t too long before they realized I was acting more as a “Den Mother” to all of her cubs than a screaming Baphoon that didn’t truly care. I gave my number out to everybody and pleaded to get theirs. I wanted them to know that if I didn’t show up I wanted them to come looking for me. I let them know I’d do the same for them. I can not express to y’all how important this ACCOUNTABILITY factor helps me with my Quit!!! No matter how bad the Crave or Desire…I know I can never let you guys down!!! We were such a large Group of Quitters we decided that we needed to break down into Sub-Groups…so that we could help keep a closer eye on each other. I am not to sure about the success that each group maintained with each other but I do want to point out that it helped emerge some leaders in our group. I do want to thank my Bro’s Enough, Professor Pinch, Go Blue, Pista, and Nodiak, for leading each sub group and trying their best to keep in touch with me to keep me updated on the whereabouts of everybody. It made me feel privileged to know them every time they felt the need to send me a PM with some new information. I knew they cared as well for our success. The bond that we as a Quitting group have formed is a remarkable thing to me!!! Never in my life did I think that bonds like this could have been formed by joining an internet site but I stand here today feeling blessed to have made such good friends. We are a force to be reckoned with and I have faith in us that we will successfully keep this Quit going with the support of each and everyone of us.

At some point I wanted to reach outside of our Group and find some more support from other Quit Groups…I knew if I showed them support than in return they would support me and the Accountability amongst us would grow. I had some really good friends from chat and that’s where I began…if they asked me to post with them I was thankful and happy to do so. There was one group in particular that always caught my eye. I have spent a lot of time with September/09. A simple silly gesture for a dear friend of mine for an HOF present seemed to create a bond with some of the funniest guys I now know, Flashman and Volp. Omg…I can read what they write all day long…sometimes they about cause me to pee my pants. They have provided me with days full of laughter and have gotten my mind off of NIC more times than not. I will have to say that when our friend came up missing and we were all distraught over what could have caused him to quit posting with us daily..I saw what a tight bond these guys had. It meant a lot to me to have them including me as part of their team. Flashman, Volp, MDG and Bscar you guys amaze me with your commitment to each other. You have shown me a bond like no other. I can only hope that as my group of Brothers and I continue on this journey that we too can be as close as y’all are. I am grateful to be your adopted lil’ Sis and am sooo thankful to y’all and the rest of September/09 for the support you have shown me.

Day 85 for me really almost ended my quit. I was a bit stressed out over a Business meeting and the news came in that a November Brother had caved and re-surfaced…Not quite sure what really caused me to almost go over the edge…but those were the 2 last occurrences before I lost it. I was humbled that day by how powerful the NIC BITCH really is. I honestly thought I had my Quit mastered or at least under control. Thank God again that I had a November Bro lookin’ out for me. I guess I am easily read when it comes to my emotions because solely based on my change of attitude and mood my support team came running to my rescue. You see that is what is great about getting to know your Brother’s and Sister’s. I know that at first sign of trouble I know that I can count on endless support from each and every one of them to come flooding in. I have opened myself up to them and now I reap the benefits of having them at my side. I urge any new Quitter or even a current Quitter to find a few Bro’s to trust and just really open up to so that they can help look for the warning signs that might just save your Quit one day as well. Nodiak and Pista I have to say Thank-you…I would not be standing here today if it weren’t for your quick response to my distress signals.

This has been such a ride fella’s…Yammers, Timmay,Greg40, Hoss, DMoore, MNS36, TAB, Markr, RoyJester, LaQuitter, RedTrain, CdForecheck, 11X4, BigDBingo, kdip, ColonelNoCope, Chewless Jim, Skoal Monster and the ENTIRE November/09 group…I could go on and on forever naming names….I have received soooo much support from sooo many and have taken in so much from y’all its been amazing!!! Although your name may have not been mentioned please know that I hold dear each and every one on here close to my heart and I appreciate everything that you do everyday. Looking back all I can say is that at some point during the last 100 days we have crossed each others path’s…Whether it was a quick hello, a nod of the head, or in some cases a much more personalized hug each and every person on this site has been a part of my Quit journey and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart!!! You know it is pretty ironic…I have always thought of my life as one big Train Wreck…But here it is today pulling up to the station…and I have never been more excited to climb aboard to continue this wonderful Quit Journey!!!
Im Alive!!!

The Quitches…November/2oo9 HOF Class!!!

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member SamCat!!!

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