2013 HOF Speeches

Pinched’s HOF Proclamation, Accountability and Minimums

Hall of Fame KTC 6Well it happened I actually hit my HOF. I stated before that I have never tried stopping before so I was a virgin to quitting tobacco, with exception to 12 weeks in 1995 when began my career as a United States Marine. On day one you empty your pockets, release all electronics and get ridicules for every damned thing you have in your pockets. Then you are forced to abstain from the use of any sort of vice that you once had. That was terrific I stopped for three months, but because it was not under my desire to do so I immediately headed for a gas station to buy a can right after graduation. Still dressed to impress I packed my lip full like a trained monkey.

Then for the remainder of my military career I continued to use at a rate of either two to three cans a day. Even while deployed in active duty I continued to use. It wasn’t until 2004 when I was kept from my addiction for 6 weeks that I ever stopped again, again not by my choice. Also, at this time I had bigger things to worry about than if I was going to have some shit to shove into my lip. Then when that 6 weeks ended the first thing I did, actually while in-flight was bum a dip from a fellow soldier.

After all that my life as a civilian started right back up. I got to witness the birth of my third child which was amazing since I missed the first two. I went to college earned a degree and then started my career path in construction. My father was a Naval officer as was his father and they later moved into construction so it was natural. Plus dipping was not only condoned in that career path it was almost required. I fit right in, just another tool totting, spit wielding dumbass.

As life went on I started coaching kids sports and volunteering for Scouts, this is when I became a ninja dipper, because I didn’t want the kids to know. However, they must have always thought I ate a turd in the morning because I always had halitosis and shit in my teeth.

In July of this year my beautiful little daughter decided that she was going to tell me I needed to stop dipping or she wasn’t going to dance with me at her wedding. Like a complete pompous jackass I shrugged that off just like every time my wife, my mother, my sisters would ask me to stop. Two weeks ensued where all I could think about was holy shit my daughter can see into the future and she was telling me I won’t be around to be at her wedding.

I missed her birth and there was no way in hell I was going to miss her wedding. I woke one morning and started my regular routine, get out of bed, pack a dip…and that was when I decided I was done. I lurked through KTC for a week prior to this day. I went and dumped that can out in the toilet. put on shorts and went for a run. All 7 miles all that I could think about was the dip I was missing. I came back later in the day joined KTC and posted roll (after fucking it up about 10 times first).

My quit has tested me, my grandfather started me on this addiction my father accepted it, my family accepted it, the government accepted it…so at first I was pissed at all of them. Then I realized that I was the jackoff that caused all of this, they were just accessories in the crime. I know that my father and grandfather are smiling down on me now as I hit my 100 day mark, and I know that all my brothers and sisters from KTC will be here with me one day at a time as well.

I am not cured and it will take 23 years, 265 days more of being QUIT before I can even think that I am winning the war, however today I win this battle and the score is starting to even out.

I as that every one of you follow the examples set forth by previous quitters. The minimum cost for you to be a member is to post roll daily. If you are OK with minimums and that is all you want out of life then so be it. But I ask would we have KTC and this group if others had done just the minimum? If someone helps you do not tell them thank you alone, go help someone else.

All that I ask of everyone is that they be accountable. For some reason this is one trait that seems to be fading away in people but it means a lot to me. Me a man or woman of your word, when you promise know that it means something to people. Also, each quitter is a structural column in the building of quit in a group, when a quitter caves that is a column toppling over. This doesn’t mean the building will fall but the other columns have more weight to bear. So when or if you cave, do us all a favor and be accountable for the mistakes that you have made.

Finally, I will drop some wisdom from my old man with one of his favorite sayings…”Don’t come to me for sympathy as I will always tell you that it can be found in the dictionary; it is located between Shit and Syphilis, which seems fitting”.

I will not wish anyone of you luck in your quit, as it is not luck that does it; it does however take determination and bravado. So nut up and shut up!

Quack Fooking Quack Quitters,

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Pinched

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