The number of days doesn’t matter, my resolve to Quit is different this time around. For the past 23 years, I dipped nearly a can a day and swallowed the pig juice for the last 16 or so years. I rolled the dice too long. I tried to stop before…for birthdays, my wedding day, birth of my children, anniversary, new years, blah…blah….blah. The truth was, I never tried to quit for me. All the previous stops were for the wife, the kids, always for someone or something else. The truth was, I didn’t want to quit. I was selfish…I didn’t care. I was a selfish addict content on dipping from sunrise to sunset, everyday, all day long. Life was great….WTF?
Waking up and taking a dip before I did anything…staying up late to have that last dip before I went to bed. Go to sleep kids, your dad is going to stay up late feeding his face with crap that might kill him. How pathetic is that? Hey son, go grab my can from the truck, your dad needs his snuff. That is so freaking weak. Throwing out a dip as I enter church, putting in a freshie as soon as we exit church, taking a dip at the table while in a restaurant… What were my options? Slave to the copenskank, life controlled by the tin, time away from my wife, kids, family, friends, health issues, cancer, embarrassment, shame, excuses, and failure…
BS, I realized I was sick and tired of how the can controlled my life, how it defined who I was and what I did. I was five days into my Quit when I ran across this website while searching for advice. Soon I realized, I wasn’t the only one out there who attempted to give this shit up before. The folks on this site knew exactly what I was going through. Hey look, there is another group and they made it 2 weeks. Oh shit, there is another group and they made it 50 days. Dang, those guys and gals have been quit for 100 days and some folks have been Quit for several years.
I can not go back…that part of my life is OVER. The folks I have met on here have helped tremendously, providing reassurance and advice, helping me through my Quit.
For me, I had to quit for myself first and no other reason. I am now a better husband, father, son, brother, friend…a better person and that makes me proud. If you believe you are done…you will make it.
I know the fight isn’t over and I accept that. I do know that I will be ready when the nic-bitch comes back again and tries to seduce me into one more. I am ready for her….I will not fail, I can not go back to her.
Thanks fellas and ladies, I will see ya’ll further down the road…finally free of the copenskank. I want to say thanks to all those vets lurking out there who always seem to provide some guidance, especially early in the Quit. And many thanks to all of my Quit Brothers…the race isn’t over but this sure is a nice rest stop.
Rock on Amigos,