2009 HOF Speeches

Well, F Me… I’m In The HOF!!!!

KillTheCan LogoMy story is similar to everyone’s story. I just finished with basketball my senior year in high school and decided it was time for me to do some of the stupid shit that my buddies had been doing for years. My first beer was when I was 18 (huge accomplishment for a Wisconsin resident), so was my first chew. A few buddies and I were fishing….what a great time to have my first dip!! It was pure fucking heaven!! I took to it like a five cent whore takes to cock. The nic bitch had another victim. For the next 16 years I was completely hooked. I couldn’t wait until basketball practice was over so I could load a dip. I couldn’t wait until class was over so I could load a dip. I couldn’t wait until this client was out of my office so I could load up a dip. I couldn’t wait until this slut was done blowing me so I could load up a dip. You get the point. (ok, the blowing part was just a fantasy).

Finally, 100 days ago I was done and scared shitless. Everything about chewing was now unappealing to me, but I didn’t know what to do. I spoke to my wife and told her I wanted to quit….she was ecstatic. She asked me to quit so many times before…and I always told her “pretty soon I’ll quit”. Four days into my quit I knew I needed help. I needed to know if the withdrawal was going to get worse…I needed to know what to expect. So, I googled “quit chewing”. I took a look at the other site and I knew that it probably was not for me….I was extremely pissy and needed to run my mouth. That’s when I found QSX. During my first visit I jumped on chat. Immediately, I was welcomed by Kdip and Kd4jet. They helped me find my way and gave me MUCH needed encouragement. Also on that night was Jpine. He immediately called me a fucking homo…or something similar to that. We threw barbs and insults back and forth for a few minutes…..I knew I found my home!!!

100 days later and the craves are still present, but much less intense than before. To any newbies reading this, this is how I quit on my first attempt:

  1. You have to really “want” to quit. Going at a quit half-assed will end in failure. I was sick and fucking tired of chewing and I committed myself 100% to staying quit.
  2. Read EVERYTHING on this site. Some of the content is ridiculous (a lot of what I write), but most is educational or at least helpful. I spent countless hours on this site after my wife went to bed. The best teacher is experience and there’s a lot of experience on this site.
  3. POST ROLL EVERY FUCKING DAY!!! I didn’t miss one day of roll. As soon as I wake up, I post roll. I used to load up a dip first thing in the morning before my morning duke, now I post roll. As Tony Montana (Scarface) said, “All I have in this world are my balls and my word.” Roll is my word to my March quit bros that I will not chew.

Just saying…it worked for me.

Now, I gotta get off my soap box and thank a few people. Kdip and Kd4jet….you guys welcomed me on my first day here and were with me the entire way. You guys are great!! Thank you!

Hydro…Thanks, bro. It’s been a lot of fun. I can’t wait to have a few of those homemade beers with you. I consider you a great friend.

Professor Pinch….You are a great quit brother. We must get together sometime in Chicago, drink beers and chase sluts. Wait, I’m married…I’ll watch you chase sluts.

SmokeyG, you are a huge asset to this site and a big part of my quit. Goddamn man!! Get back on this site and help others like you’ve helped me. Not everybody on this site is a limp-wristed fucking pussy that can’t take a little shit.

Jpine, for the first 40 days I thought you were nothing but a fucking idiot….then the fog cleared and I began to understand your brilliance. You’ve been a big part of my quit. Thanks, you fucking fag!!

Chewless Jim, Thanks for checking up on me from time to time. God Bless November 2007!

To all my chat brothers and sisters (especially ricko and justquit)….THANK YOU! The chat room provides me with hours of entertainment and help.

Last, but certainly not least, THANK YOU MARCH 2009!!! You guys kick ass. It is an honor to take the field of quit with you all.


NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member greg40

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