2012 HOF Speeches

CleanFuel – HOF Speech

CleanFuel avatarMy story.

Similar to most. I starting dipping skoal in high school watching film after football practice. The coaches did it.

It was cool.

Off to college. Moved up to Copenhagen from Skoal. Wow. So good. 10 years of this.

Then I quit. Yes, I quit. I did not stop. At 28 I quit. For 5 years, never caved. Never thought about caving. Never planned a cave.

But – I got beat.

I got outmaneuvered by a very cunning, resilient and patient foe.

A foe so seductive, always the temptress and so deceptive, that at 28 I am not sure I ever had a chance.

When I was 28 years old, that was 1995. The cigar craze. Most of you guys remember it. Cigar bars were all the rage. You could get your own humidor.

It was cool.

After a night out having 2 cigars, I woke up the next morning. Oh man, I felt the urge. I saw her with that “come fuck me” look……..I answered the call. Got up, drove to a convenient store, and got a can of copenhagen…..oh my…….so good…..I was back…..

The Bitch was smiling ear to ear…..she knew she had me for at least another 10 years……truth is she got me for another 15…..

I was dating my wife at the time and training for a full Ironman. I was not a ninja dipper with my wife and family. I was open. But I was ninja in public…..

Oh the times that Bitch shared with my family…..In retrospect – I almost wish I was a ninja dipper….

She was with me and my family for our most treasured memories……

The night before my wedding
In the car from my wedding to the reception
10 minutes after I finished Ironman

Every minute after having an intimate moment my wife
Every sporting event we went to
Every movie we watched
Every flight we/I took
Every holiday we went on
Every minute I played video games with my boys
Every birthday party
Every big presentation (before and after)
Every special moment on the beach
Every snowboard run at Vail

As I type this, I still can’t believe I ever let that fucking snake into my house……….and share the best times of my life with the people I love when I hated her so much. You fucking Bitch, you owe me for the amazing times I gave you that you never earned or deserved…..

And what did you give me back?

Lol…..of course I got nothing back…..

I am a very successful senior executive in the technology business. The crazy shit I did for this Bitch still boggles my mind.

3 day trip to NYC?

Do I have my 4 cans? (shit, might as well pack 5 just in case)
Am I in first class? (great – I get that little water bottle to spit in)
Am I in coach? (shit – need to buy a diet coke, drink half of it so the level of the coke is in the middle of the label and my spit looks like the coke)
Okay – am on the flight – is the flight attendant watching? (shit – she is – need to go the bathroom and put one in)

What a mind fuck……..

The good news is……..I don’t even know that guy anymore…….

And guess what….

The Bitch didn’t owe me anything for the good times I gave her and the cherished memories I shared with her….that was all my fault……and that is all she is ever going to get…..

But I owed myself something……


But how?

Bought some Nic gum…..it was a Saturday…
Went golfing with my son….chewed some gum….got the hiccups cuz the Nic was crazy high

It was April 1, A sunday. A very odd week for me – I was to be home all week….I travel 48+ weeks a year – but not this week

Sunday after Golf – hit the web………..

hmmmm…..Kill the Can??

maybe I will read some……

Came in as another name (I know major rule breaking – but boys, the instructions are not easy here lol)

Then something clicked…….

Re-logged in as CleanFuel…….
Threw out my shit……
Told my wife to throw out the gum…..
No Nic I told her…..
KTC says Cold Turkey……
I was inspired……

My first 3 days……..Most in here know I call it The quickening……..

Secretly, I would actually love to go back to those 3 days……that was my foundation…..

I have said I think I may be the bitchiest quitter ever on KTC…..my 100 were not easy…….ups, downs…..fairly unstable for the most part……

But always KTC

Post roll

Then about day 75….cleaning out my Library……i see my old humidor…..Seriously????

Open it…..

40+ Cubans….still fresh….

There she is boys…….I am now 44, I am not the same 28 year old dumb ass, you Bitch….

Threw them out….in the sewer with my youngest boy……

The rest is History……

Here is what I want to say to all of you….


I am grateful, blessed and proud to be a part of this mother fucking brotherhood. I will pay this gift forward to every bad ass quitter that comes to KTC. I will make 200. One day at a time. I will be here for you. As you were here for me.

I was not super big on trading numbers…..but my boys WT and Kubrick meant the world to me……..and my new boy Jag in OCT….he is a badass quitter…..

So…..as some of you saw…..3 weeks ago after a big team meeting at work……a bunch of folks are going out to smoke Hookah………Why?

Because its cool….

There she is….patient…..lurking…….taking on another form…….beware….its a trap….

Not me – no more……

So….guys…..I would not have gotten here without you…..

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart……

I leave this with a message to all the new guys who may be reading this and who want to be QUIT with a quote adapted from the movie “Any Given Sunday”


I don’t know what to say really. The next 100 days will be the biggest battle of your life and it all comes down to this. Inch by inch, day by day…until you’re finished. With 100 days left, you are in hell right now. Believe me. And you can stay here and get the crap kicked out of you or you can fight your way back into the light. You can climb out of hell. One day at a time. One inch at a time.

Now I can’t do it for you.

I look around and I see these seasoned quitters and I think…I think that quitting is just a game of inches.

Because when you quit, the margin for error is so small. I mean…not enough fake stuff and you don’t make it. A few missed posts and you don’t quite get there. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They are in every break of your quit, every day, every minute, every second.

At KTC, we fight for that inch. Because we know when we add up all those inches that’s going to make the difference between WINNING and LOSING, between QUITTING and CAVING.

I’ll tell you this…in any quit, it is the person who is willing to do whatever it takes who is going to win that inch. And I know if you are going to make it, it is because, you are still willing to fight for that inch because that is what QUITTING is.

Now I can’t make you do it.

You gotta connect with the seasoned quitters here at KTC. Connect with them and exchange numbers.

Now I think you are going to connect with a person who will go that inch with you. You are going to connect with a person who will fight, post roll and quit with you every single day because they know when it comes down to it, you are gonna do the same thing for them.

That’s a team, people, and either we STAY QUIT, as a team…or we CAVE, as individuals.

That’s quitting, gang.

That’s all it is.

Now, what are you going to do?

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member CleanFuel

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