100+ Days ago I can remember savoring that last fat juicy dip of Copenhagen in the shower that morning. I had packed a big horsehoe since this was going to be my last dip. I had made the decision to quit the night before and was going to register for KTC that day. I got out of the shower and stared myself down in the mirror with that big turd in my grill. I was apprehensive and a bit scared about saying goodbye to something that was the center of my life. After a bit, I decided it was time for the crap to go and down the big white bowl it went along with the rest of the can. The next weekend I went out and got totally wasted on Margaritas and beer to drown my sorrows. I was very weak and really wanted to cave. I sent a call out for help and I got three phone #s almost immediatly. I decided to call a total stranger in either Iowa or Nebraska. It was Hazard05. He treated me like a brother and talked me out of doing something stupid like caving. I didn’t cave that night because of him. At this point I realized the real power of this site.
I was at a low point in my life. My marriage was on the rocks. My wife had left me before the Labor Day weekend. I was a total mess. Copenhagen ruled my life. I had been dipping again for about 6 or 7 years ago after a couple of years quit. I have dipped and/or smoked for over 30 years until 100 days ago. (I started abusing tobacco in junior high school). I always had a dip in or was wanting the next dip. I was a ninja dipper as far as my family and I managed to dip a can or more a day behind their back. I could gut when needed. I already had wanted to quit before the family situation hit the fan. I registered for the other site a couple of years ago but fell off the wagon early on. My wife told me that I had become so distant in recent years and I wasn’t the same person she married 18 years ago. She couldn’t live with me anymore. She was so right!!. I would do about anything to find an excuse to be alone with my can. I makes me sick to look back at how much time I wasted and how many familiy things I missed to satisfy my selfish addiction. I lived the big lie and it took her leaving me to finally realize it and accept it. During that long first weekend alone I searched the internet and found KTC. When she came home to get some clothes later that week I came clean with her and showed her all about the site. She was somewhat skeptical based on my previous track record but did listen. I even gave her my passcode so she could follow along.
Hurricane IKE turned out to be a blessing in disguise for me looking back. We were forced to evacuate and as a family went to a motel near Dallas that only had one room. During that 10 days I was very active on the website and kept her involved every step of the way. I was able to show her that she and my 12 YO WERE more important that a Fuckin can of Cope. She agreed to come home with me after the evacuation and our relationship is now better that it has been in years. My family is now the center of my life instead of a little round can. Since being off the NIC, I don’t experiece mood swings nearly as often and I don’t seem to get angry nearly as much either.
This jouney has been much more to me that just a quit. My whole outlook has changed since I am no longer chained to a can. My family life has improved greatly and I have met some awesome people in the process as a side benefit. I never expected to make friends with a bunch of NIC addicts on some “impersonal” website. I expect many of these people to be friends for a long time to come.
I want to express my heartfelt thanks for everyone on this site that made my quit possible. I especially want to thank chewie and the other supporting founders that make this resource available to all at no charge. I will be making a donation and/or ordering some items soon to help support the site.
I want to thank all my December Quit Brothers and all the veterans that picked me up and let the way. Dolomite – the keeper of the Bouncies that has kept me occupied, T-2 for always having a plan and for your to the point posts, Quit_Aug for posting hilarious stories about ninja dippers that I related too – especially the airport security line one I’ll never forget. Last Chance – Proud to have you as a brother and I wish you the best in 2009 serving our country. Ranteam1 – talking to you in chat and you telling about your girl asking you why you ate dirt. That will leave a lasting impression on me. Scoobs, Cmist, and others I am sure I am forgetting. You all helped me.
I also want to thank Bubblehed668 for Keeping the train on the tracks and for your dedication to paying it forward. You’ve been a great Brother. Kd4jet for you off the wall and sometimes crude sense of humor that has kept going in some rough times. Ricko – for being a worse speller that me…But really for your dedication to your fellow quit brothers and your inspiring posts that get even better when you’ve had a few. Animal – Even though we did not interact that much during the quit, your regular and well thought out posts did me a workd of good. Also you are a exceptional example of Paying it Forward and you are a real asset to the new quitters on this site. Volp – My man, you almost ruined my quit a couple of weeks ago…But I think we both are stronger than before. You’re still a great quit brother and I know you will make it to HOF this time. I apologize if i missed anyone.
Lastly I want to thank my wife and daugther for taking me back and putting up with me during this journey. I want everyone to know that I am free and my life is no longer ruled by a stupid little can. I look forward to reaching 200 days with all of you. God Bless KTC
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member kdip