One More Time – Time To Celebrate
As I sit down to reflect on making it to the HOF I have to first and foremost tell my story of how I got to be where I am today. Day 100+ and counting one day a time and One more time each and every day.
I want to very first get the party started by having you listen to the following song. I’ll explain more as I go… One more time
So we start back in high school, the year was 2004 and there I was at rugby practice where I took out my mouthpiece protecting my smile and threw in the dog shit that would only do me harm for the next 13+ years… How I wish that I threw up and made that my day 1. Unfortunately, I did not…
Fast forward to college, I was a young pledge and immediately struck up an instant friendship with the guy that I saw with that familiar ring on his jeans… I know had someone to would dip with for the next 4 years. When we were going through hell week I remember being blindfolded and in a pitch black basement with the following song being blasted “One More Time” At the time I thought to myself how terrible this was and that I was going insane listening to this shit in the basement that night but I have come to realize that listening to that song that night was only one night of hearing the same song on repeat and what was insane was putting this shit in my mouth one more time on repeat.
As I began talking more and more with the nic bitch, she led me to believe that it was ok to dip because I was young and dumb and in college. Telling myself that for sure, I was not addicted because after all I was just in college so it is something I can stop whenever I wanted to… on a dime, no questions asked. Well the fact that I write this now almost 8 years after graduating I think we know how that turned out. The nic bitch would allow me to rationalize my addiction anyway I possibly could whether it was an “after dinner mint” as my pledges would call it when I would call or text them to go bring me a tin, an all-night study aid when I was cramming for a test or just a nightly relaxer. The nic bitch kept telling me its ok don’t worry you will quit later, just go ahead and have one more tin.
Well I would go on to quit/stop off and on countless times throughout college and it was just “One more time” rinse and repeat that same song for all 4 year of college and boy was I wrong about being able to quit on a dime. All throughout college and frankly anytime I was stuffing my face with shit, it was something I thought I wanted, something I thought I needed. I now know that all along it was all talk from that sneaky little bitch who kept getting me to buy more of her, can after can after can. But before we move completely past the college years we need to introduce another important character in my story – My future wife. We met at the local college bar on a drink filled Thursday night. Did not think any relationship would be forming in the 2nd semester of my senior year but there something different about this girl. She made me want to be a better me. I recall the first time after she had met a large number of my friends her commenting how my dipping partner in crime was so gross for chewing. (Gulp – introduce Master Ninja dipper from 2009 – 2017) Needless to say with her it was a topic I always glazed over and never let percolate but boy did it come to a full on eruption in 2017… But I will get to that a bit later.
So I go on to graduate undergrad as well as grad school as Ninja dipper but I then do manage to quit/stop for about 2.5 years on my own as entered the business world and being a grown up. But then my dad passed away and the first shoulder I went back to lean on was the dead plant. How I wish that it was the shoulder of my loving Fiancée (not married yet at the time but engaged) Looking back I don’t even know what lead me to go pick up the can again but I do know that I thought at the time oh its just “One more can” then back to being quit. I bet you can guess what happened next… It was that same damn song playing again One more time… One more time … One more time
Insert On and off One more times from here… until 2016 when I again had managed to at the time think I kicked the can to the curb one more time as we were trying to get pregnant with our first kid. I wanted to kick all possible reasons to the curb as we wanted that baby. And We were lucky enough to conceive fairly early (about 3 months) and I began my on and off dance One more time… fast forward nine more months and we bring in this bundle of joy our little baby girl, who has me wrapped 100% around her finger home. Mom is happy, baby is happy and Dad is happy but oh how things can change…Well as with most horror stories go the nic bitch told me it was ok to throw in a Lipper so I could attend to our never sleeping child. Well the lack of sleep I suppose may have caused this expert level ninja dipper to slip up and leave a can out and maid found it and left it out for the wife to see/find which lead to the phone call I never wanted to get, “Why is there is there tobacco chew in our house” While, sometimes I wish I never got caught, I also realize that because of the accountability to my wife as well is another big reason why this quit is the Big QUIT ! Also I am no longer lying to my wife!
Thus begins the start of the march toward 100 days from that phone call on. I could barely breath knowing and then suddenly realizing how stupid I had been all along to jeopardize my relationship with my wife and new baby girl by putting that shit in my mouth but ALSO THE LIES! Oh the god damn lies… I guess it was not until I was confronted as a ninja dipper did I ever realize the effects this damn dead plant had on me or the ones I loved.
My wife and I fought and fought and fought…my side was all apologizing and she did not understand as I came clean about my ninja past it only made the wound more severe but in the end it also made coming clean once better vs. finding out about one more thing or one more time. These cold lonely nights on the couch really allowed me to have some serious introspection. It was here that I began to see things a bit more clearly and instead of stuffing my dip past into a box and putting it on the shelf I found KTC where I found others who were like me fellow ninja’s, fellow bad ass quitters. So I dug in deep and I drank the KTC Kool-aid. I reached out to every person I could on KTC because I knew this time was different, It had to be different for me and for my family I really did want to Quit with a capital Q !
In my time since quitting I have come to the understanding and realization of all the crazy shit I would do for dip. All the lies I would tell others, all the lies I would tell myself. As a numbers guy I find myself amazed by some of what I refused to allow myself to see.
Just to be thorough lets go ahead and list a few of the doozies and my realizations…
- The MONEY – WTF – I stole from my family
- I now save about $65 a week almost a $1000 bucks per floor (100 days)
- The Side Trips – Dip rides as I have come to realize and call them
- I now go on trips with the family (way more fun)
- The need to find time to be alone every day – Ninja time
- Needless to say bed time can be more fun now – wink
- The long Poop (this was the Hail-Mary ninja move)
- Ok I still am a long pooper… Gotta love a good poop.
- Health consequences for myself –
- I cannot change the past but the future and today I know I am better off. I also look to have this be a catalyst towards other better health choices.
- Health Consequences for my family
- What if little baby got into any of the chew
- The future family functions
- I want to grow old with my wife, have more babies and walk our daughter(s?) down the aisle.
- My word – I lied to myself and my family
- I will make up for this one for a while but keeping a promise each day is one step in the right direction.
Ok so I have gone on long enough that you know about me, but I wanted to take some time to let any future quitters know a few things, we shall call them the Scott’s summary on tips to kill the can.
- Want to quit – Always Be Quitting!
- Be present on the site
- Invest time in your quit – Especially in the form of real connections
- Be here everyday One more time!
- WUPP – Wake up Piss Post
Shout out to those who hold a special place in my quit because of # 3 I don’t want a day to go by without a text from you fools – The MikeP, The Scott’s (dipsgone, MP Zamboni man), Sir Francis, JeffW, Justin, Milfhunter, Hotlanta. And the rest of the ABQ as well!
Additional thanks to our conductor’s Bojax and Jran – sorry but not sorry for having to make so many liquor store runs while on the HOF train…
Finally I want to tie together this whole song concept. One more time … While when first heard this song on repeat you will remember that I hated it, being blindfolded and just like listening to the nic bitch in the dark over and over again … However now I am here in the present time no blindfold and I love it ! One more time! Because for me, One more time now represents what I do every day, I post roll and I celebrate! One more time … Quitting got me feeling so feel got me dancing gonna celebrate come on and celebrate with me!
We can all celebrate together so long as we KILL THE CAN !
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Swilson