Have you ever had the feeling where you have to strategically plan out your next few hours to ensure that you’ve got a chew in? You had to plan on getting away from people so you could chew. How many unsatisfying chews? I would have left that shit in for an hour if I didn’t have to be somewhere or do something. I feel like I could have spent 90% of my waking hours with a chew in if I could. I fuckin loved that shit. Toss in a chew at a tailgate, fishing, golfing, baseball, driving – anywhere. It was fun. I loved adding a quick, tasty buzz to what I did.
Have you ever been an asshole after a meal? Specifically at a dinner party or some event that you wish you could’ve faked sick at. I needed that after meal dip. I couldn’t survive without it. I had toinexplicably run to the nearest convenience store to make sure I was set for the night. I would just disappear for 20 minutes.
Now? None of that. But before now, I want to talk about my 100 days.
On day 5, I wrote this.
I owe this site everything. I can honestly say that if I didn’t find this site (if it didn’t exist), I would be chewing at least a tin a day. Think about that? For all the fake that we have done, we have never polished off 1+ tins of that shit. Every day I would chew at least a tin. Now, I don’t care if it’s on me or not – It’s not something I pat the pockets for…
Days 1-21 – On day 22, I felt like a made a breakthrough. Days 1-21 were a struggle. The foooooooooooooooooooogqweiorjwqogreuigbwieqngowenqewjndsla. That a how made feel me likeuhhhhhhh. It is no joke. There were times that I was driving, when I felt like I might crash. I remember on day 7 or 8 driving with a friend who didn’t like my chewing and me feeling good that I wasn’t chewing. But…, at the same time, I was going fucking crazy in a weird cloud of drug-induced anxiety and impatient anger. These days were tough. I still always thought about chew and always wanted to give in. But OFDAAT. Amazing right? I didn’t stand a chance without KTC. Now I know that stuff is in my past. I was active and really bought in. I read every page. I loved trying to recruit guys to join my group. I told all of my friends and family about the site. I was diligent in my WUPP. I PMed a lot of brothers. I needed accountability and you were here because you are the dudes. We were all going through it and we all knew it sucked. Loved that.
Days 22-67 – This was during the time that I was starting to feel relief. I felt like I could just chew some trident every once in a while and have minimal cravings. It was the time when I felt like I was beginning to have some control over the cravings. It took the promise for the first 3 weeks, but now it felt like I could win the battles by myself. I was still active, but I was posting 2 times/day. I was climbing the mountain at a good pace and not looking down. The end is in sight.
Days 68-99 – I start to change my habits. It was the time that I started to realize that chewing wasted a lot of time… I started to do more things. I started to feel better about myself because I didn’t have to think about the strategic chew I was going to take after we ate. I got a bunch of new jobs after moving. Moved with the gf in May. These are the jobs that I have: Accounting Manager – awesome golf course. Beer Hawker – I had to learn what this meant. I’m the guy that walks in the stands at baseball games and sell beer. A Redman at a baseball practice got me into it. A Skoal peach at a baseball tournament got me hooked. I always thought that it was cool because I didn’t feel queasy. Anyway – the point is that I’ve always liked baseball. #3 is as a stagehand at a concert venue. I’ve seen Paul Simon and JCM and gotten paid for it. Steve Miller Band w/ Peter Frampton and Modest Mouse are on deck. Great 8 hour/week job. While I have been quit, I have managed to secure free 1) rounds of golf 2) baseball games, and 3) sold out concerts. It’s only for the summer, but it’s pretty great.
Day 100 – Busy. Definitely too busy to think about chew. I was very happy with my accomplishment but didn’t have enough time to be on KTC.
Days 101-110 – Found it tough to find time for KTC. This is dumb. I neglected the site because I didn’t want to write this. Too busy to find time. Missed roll twice, late on roll 8 times. Poor effort – sorry.
Days 111-Current – I will always love this site. It has cured me of my addiction to chew. I will continue to use the site and support the bros, but I might miss a day here and there. I know that this site is the only reason I am quit. I want to be involved in helping others like me quit chew. I made time to write this and will have this archived for me to read in the future. All thanks to KTC.
Special thanks to Young. He was a great leader of the group. He Pmed me “A long time ago I told myself that nothing should have that much power of a person, but just recently have I really taken it to heart. I’m not going back this time! Happy to be quit with you.” Truly a guy that I didn’t want to let down. Thank you for making a difference in my life.
And thank you to KTC and everyone in the club. I am quit for life.