I, like all of you, wish I could go back in time and never try dip for the first time. I was in 7th grade and walking with my older brother and some of his friends after playing basketball when one of them pulled out a can. I had my first dip and I remember the buzz to this day, it felt like I was 10 foot tall. I was dipping in class by the following year, praying that I didn’t have to read in front of the class. I dipped in 3-4 classes per day all the way through high school even though I was on the honor roll and a 4 sport athlete, the stakes of getting caught were high for me but feeding my budding addiction was more important. My mom found my stash of spit bottles and empty cans one time and grounded me for a month, didn’t matter.
By the time I got to college I was already fully addicted but my use escalated quickly because I didn’t have to hide it from anyone. I was also smoking some at the time as well. About the only thing that somewhat slowed me down was being a poor college student but I switched to Rooster which was about $3 per can…I wonder if that stuff is even around anymore. My friends and I used to joke about me stuffing cock in my mouth, good times!
Once I graduated and took an office job I realized that it wasn’t acceptable to openly dip amongst my coworkers. After a couple of months I changed my realization to going without nicotine for 9 hours sucks worse than the risk of getting caught dipping by said coworkers.
A few years later I met my future wife and she didn’t even know what dip was and I wasn’t going to bother telling her. I dipped around her a few times just to test the waters but nevertheless she was in the dark that I had been using dip for 10 years and was a full blown maniac. I used to wait for her to go to sleep in our 1 bedroom apartment, sneak out to the parking lot, and get a dip out of my can in the car. I would get caught periodically, tell her I would quit, wouldn’t quit and then rinse and repeat.
I finally “quit” about 5 years ago but I would still smoke an occasional cigarette and then after a year or so I bought some snus. I was dipping again after 2 weeks and felt like I had to make up for lost time. I “quit” for another year and the cycle repeated itself. I finally came clean to my wife a few years ago and told her how deep my addiction was and how I had been hiding it from her. She forgave me but basically told me she had reservations about being married to an addict. I “quit” another time or two in the last couple of years but only for a couple of months and she caught me a couple of times as well. She didn’t trust me and I felt like a total loser that was living a lie. Did I mention my daughter drank out of my spitter at some point during all of this. I was losing control of my life.
I had been to KTC during one of my previous “quits” but never posted a 1st day. So when I decided it was time, had to postpone by a week because my wife left town for a week for work and you know what that means, I put that shit down and prepared for the worst. I came to KTC around Day 5 I think and posted my first promise and I haven’t missed a day since. I came clean to my wife after 3 weeks because I didn’t want to trade in hiding dip for hiding KTC. I needed to get things right. It was tough and she was pissed about my lies and my addiction.
I know I’m not the most involved in the forums but I do post my promise to my fellow quitters every day and text a few brothers as well (Prohunter, Samrs, IowaFF, and Pozzi). I also text my wife, it works for me. I know that once I post my promise that I’m nicotine free for the day because, say what you will about me, I’m not the type of person that can make a promise and then go down to the store can pick up a can of Skoal. That is how I stay quit with all of you.