My wife now calls me the “Master of Deception”. This is done half-joking and half-serious. Either way, she is right.
You see, I am the poster boy for all ninja dippers. I have been using tobacco for over 25 years, and the entire time my wife and son had no idea of my addiction. Sure, she thought I had the occasional dip on the golf course, but that was it.
You all know the dark ninja stories….the late night dip, the quick trip to the store (my wife actually thought I liked to do the grocery shopping), the hiding spots in the car and house, and the list goes on and on…..
We are talking about over a quarter of a century of being controlled by a can of tobacco. A quarter of a century of lying, hiding, and being the “master of deception”. To this day, I can’t believe I was that good at not getting caught. I also believe that is why I came clean and decided it was time to stop this nonsense. It is hard work being so deceptive for so long, and I was getting tired. I also did not like the person I had become.
I told my wife every last detail and told her I would try and quit. I had no idea what I had just done! If you think hiding your addiction is hard, try stopping your addiction.
I happened to find KTC one night early in my quit. I cannot express enough how much this site has aided in my quit. I found out quickly that I had much to learn. For anyone reading this who is thinking of quitting, do not use words like wish, try, or hope…. we use words like will, can, and do. You will find tough love, but remember you are here for the same reason I am, to quit this disgusting habit!
People here are sincere and have gone through this process. Posting Roll everyday gave me accountability and a sense that I was not going through this alone.
I realize that I still have along way to go, but I will remain quit with the help of family, friends, and KTC. I could not have done this without first being honest with my family. For any other Ninja dippers out there, you will fail unless you come clean first. I cannot say it has been easy on my family. It has been very hard on my wife to realize her husband could deceive her for over 25 years. I cannot thank her enough for being so understanding and supportive of my efforts.
So far I have overcome my triggers… driving, golfing, drinking, and arguing. These will always be my triggers, but I know that, and I know what to do.
My goal for the next 100 days is to be much more supportive of anyone who needs help. I will availabe for anyone who needs support. I feel I have taken more from KTC than I have given. The next 100 days — this will change.
I feel very proud to share my HOF date with golfguy and JKD, and I am very proud to be in the October quit group.
Finally, to the nic bitch who controlled me for over a quarter of a century, and turned me into the master of deception….
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member wizard