Well, KTC says that you are a Hall of Fame addict after 100 days quit, so, I now have the right to post my thoughts here for the rest of your to read for whatever purpose you need. I was a 100% roll post, but I was definitely a “post and ghost” or whatever you call the less active type. I read what was going on, but didn’t offer up much along the way. Mostly because I am of the opinion that my addicted brain wasn’t going to contribute much to the discussion that wasn’t already being put out there and I was right. However, there are a few things I want to share what clicked with me with whoever reads this and maybe it will click with you too. So here’s what I learned and experienced from Day 1 until now.
The Quit Mentality: From Day 1 I decided to quit for me. Not my wife, not my kids, no one else. Bottom line for me, I was done with this and this quit was going to be a personal problem between me and nicotine and no one else was going to be able to fight this war but me. Everyone is different, but that is what worked for me.
Shame and Sharing As A Quit Tool: I used every tool and emotion to my advantage to quit. First, I told everyone I knew that I was going to quit so that I would be afraid to cave and feel the shame of failing. My friends are jackasses, so I knew if I failed I would never hear the end of it and though I had no idea the extent of the mind games that were about to come my way, and it did become the main battle in the war, I was then glad I did that. Everyone is different, but that is what worked for me.
The Mind Game and Anger For The Win: Then, a few days in, I reached a cross roads, when the suck really sucked. I was a full blown insomniac, unable to sleep more than 3 hours at a time. Feeling cravings and triggers regularly. The fog was in full effect. I was deep in my head, way back there where your truth lives. You know, the place no one else gets to see, the place that the little voice that tells you what type of person you really are comes from? Well, I was waiting for it to tell me “you are just an addict and you should cave because it sucks”, but it didn’t. It didn’t because I got really pissed off that this was happening. I’ve been willingly putting poison in my body for 26 years and I was disgusted that it was causing my body and mind to be this way without it and I was not going to forget this moment and I wasn’t going to be here again and I used that anger to fight the cravings and the nicotine trying to get me to cave. Everyone is different, but that is what worked for me.
Final Words: I am not cured. I am still an addict and this will be a battle, maybe forever. However, I have more control today than yesterday. The reason is not just in the above post. I listened to the others that had taken this road and learned from what they experienced. I did what they said I should do by posting every day, exchanging numbers and reading others posts for inspiration during the toughest times. If you are thinking about quitting or are in the middle of the suck, I hope this helps, it worked for me.