I know that some folks don’t think it is appropriate to write any type of speech when you hit 100 days for a variety of reasons. On the contrary, I am writting my speech for two reasons. First, I know when I first stumbled upon this site, the information on the site kept pointing to these crazy a$$ Hall of Fame speeches that a quitter should read. I would feel like I am providing a great injustice to future quitters or quitters in their first few minutes/hours/day/weeks of quitting if I did not write something about MY quit. Second, I don’t care if I am only 100 days into my quit, I am proud of that accomplishment.
Without attempting to write a 286 page novel, I’ll explain when I started dipping, why I dipped, why I quit, and how I stayed quit. Hopefully, this information will help someone along the rocky path to freedom from dipping.
When I Started Dipping
As a youngster, I grew up absolutely hating the sight of dip, the smell of dip, and the notion of putting dip into my mouth. My father was and still is a career dipper. I can remember once I came of age where I realized what that ‘stuff’ dad put in his mouth was, I was even more turned off by it. I would always hear about how bad tobacco and nicotine are for your body in school. I almost got to the point of where I despised my dad for dipping. Anytime I saw him put a dip in, it mad me more mad.
Coming from a long line of prominent nicotine and dip users, it was ‘in his blood’ I guess. His father dipped. His grandfather and grandmother dipped. Blah, blah, the list goes on.
Throughout high school, I bummed a dip here and there, but never did get ‘hooked’. It was hard for me to get hooked on something that after just 5 minutes in my mouth made me nauseous, dizzy, and throw up. How good is something for you that causes you to feel like that after a small pinch?
Now, we can fast forward to my sophomore year in college. Heading back home from the airport from our conference baseball tournament, the great majority of the players on the team threw in the standard dip after our plane ride. One of my best friends offered me a pinch of Skoal Mint. I had always hated it, I had always dispised it, but hell, 90% of the folks on the team were doing it and I might as well give it a try since we only had about a 30 minute trip back from the airport. This dip was different from all my other ‘adventures’ with dipping. I didn’t get sick, I didn’t get too dizzy, and I didn’t throw up. I felt…… great……..
That next day before I went home for the summer, I decided to go into the gas station and purchase me a nice and shiny blue can of that Mint Skoal stuff. I started thinking, “This isn’t so bad after all. It makes me feel so great, I can understand why dad uses this.”
I began working at the plant where my dad works a few days later as a means of money for school during my summer at home. Hey, everyone dipped there as well, why not keep on dipping? Over the next 6 years, I went from a can every two week dipper to a can a day dipper. I was one of those folks who thought I was cool because I dipped. I played college baseball so I had the right to dip. I worked at the plant during the summer so I had the right to dip. The excuses just kept coming and coming and coming…..
Why I Dipped
I kept rationalizing my dipping because, hey, it helps me concentrate. It helps me stay away. It helps me stay focused. It helps me be *insert any other BS excuse here*. This section won’t be very long, but I just want to point out that although I thought I ‘had’ to have a dip to do certain things, activities can be done and enjoyed without dip. The mower still starts without a dip in your mouth. Wood can be chopped without a dip in your mouth. Bass still bite without a dip in your mouth. Your car still cranks and can be steered without a dip in your mouth. It took me a while to realize that for everything that dip ‘did’ for me, it took much more away from me.
Why I Quit
I wish I had a great reason why I quit. I wish I could tell you I had some epiphamy under a starlite burning bush. To be honest, I quit because, well, I just quit. I had a 3 day weekend and my wife was working the Monday of the President’s Day holiday. Even though she knew that I dipped and she didn’t ‘seem’ to mind too much (her dad, brother, uncles, cousins all dipped), it always seemed like it was a better dip when she wasn’t at the house complaining about me spitting into a bottle. Well, I had all kinds of stuff to do after work Friday and forgotten to go by the tobacco shop close to my house to get me another death roll for the weekend in preparation of the long weekend. By Sunday afternoon, I had about 2 dips left in my last can. I had a choice to either tough it out and go to the gas station and pay much more for a can of dip, or see if I could just last until that Tuesday morning before work. What a great decision…..
I started looking around the internet on that Sunday night and for some reason found this site. I can honestly think I was searching for internet tobacco prices or something to see if they would be cheaper than my local tobacco shop. Hey, I could get tobacco delivered to my doorstep like my contacts and insulin (I’ve been a type I diabetic since the 5th grade, I was just seeing if I could add another risk to my life). Luckily, I found this site.
I started reading the HOF speeches. I started reading how bad tobacco was for me. I started remembering why I hated my dad dipping. I started remembering why I never wanted to start in the first place. I made that decision that night that I would try and see how long I could go without dip.
How I Stayed Quit
You always hear and read about making sure you stay quit for yourself. Well, that is certainly true, to an extent for myself. At the same time however, I found out this past October that my wife is pregnant with our first child (he was born June 17, 2010). I quit because I was sick of dipping. That feeling of being pissed off at dip re-surfaced once I found this site. I also quit because I wanted to be around for my child and my wife. I quit because I didn’t want my son looking at me and being mad at me because I dipped. I quit because I WANTED TO.
If you DON’T want to quit, all the support in the world will not help you. I don’t want to pi$$ in anybody’s cereal, but YOU must be willing to quit in order for the support around here to help you. Life presents everyone with ups and downs. Bad days, good days. Regardless if you dip or not, life does not care. You will still have ups and downs. Bad days, good days. Thinking that just one dip will all the sudden make all of your problems go away is but a pipe dream. If you are ready to quit, and are willing to quit, then you have came to the right place and are moving in the right direction. Post roll, exchange some information with folks around here.
This site has given me the daily accountability where I promise not to dip today. I will worry about tommorow, well, tommorow. Anyone can do something one minute at a time. You string together 1440 consecutive minutes together, and you have a day. If you are telling me that your addiction is stronger than you saying no for a minute, then, I feel sorry for you.
If you think you can beat the habit, prove it to us all here.
I have to give thanks to all the supporters all there that still post roll. I have to give thanks to my fellow June 2010 quitters, even though I was late in joining up on this particular site. It’s been a fun, yet crazy, ride to the Hall which I believe only quitters can understand. Even though there are some on this site that give you some tough love, everyone means well and just wants to see you succeed. Always have a plan and execute that plan. Don’t think that just because you have a plan means that you are in the clear. It’s about like if you have a fire escape plan that you develop, but when the house catches on fire, you run around screaming. If you need help, there are plenty of folks who have been in your shoes that can help. Don’t think that quiting is easy or something that can be taken lightly. However, it certainly can be done and there are thousands of folks on this site that prove it can be done.
I hope this quit is my first and only quit. Anyways, I’ll take it one day at a time….