I’ve often said that I’m no more than $5 and a gas station away from my habit. It makes me feel weak sometimes but that’s the absolute truth. Even after 1,300 + days quit my resolve is tested which is why I make sure that my “crave arsenal” is fully stocked.
A couple of weeks back I traveled to Indiana for the funeral of my best friend’s mother. She was diagnosed with lung cancer and 4 days later she was gone. After the funeral I went and grabbed a bite to eat with a couple of my college room mates. As I sat there feeling sorry for my friend and for myself one of them popped a can. Just like that, the Nic Bitch was there to comfort me in a time of great need. Even after nearly 4 years, she hadn’t forgotten about me. In that moment, I wasn’t thinking about my plan, wasn’t thinking about my oath, and wasn’t thinking about roll call. I was feeling bad for my friend who’d just lost his mother and was essentially “crying in my beer”.
And then I looked down… I noticed my KTC Wristband and it brought me back. Brought me back to the blood, sweat and tears that has gotten me to 1,300 days quit. Brought me back to remembering my quit group, the brotherhood that is KTC and all the commitments I’ve made. Just like that, the crave was gone. I was back to being me… happy and totally content with my quit. The Nic Bitch was once again pushed to the recesses of my mind where she’s been ever since.
This post isn’t meant as a commercial. (Though if you do want to purchase a coin, knife, wristband, etc. I certainly won’t stop you 😉 ) My point is to pack your arsenal with tools. Make a plan, get some phone numbers, and surround yourself with “quit”. Print out an article from the forums or the site that appeals to you. I’ve once again been reminded how easy it is to go back to the can even after all this time. Not going back… not today.
PS – In case you don’t get the title of this post, the KTC Wristbands cost only $5 😉
UPDATE: Since the date of this post in 2010 postage has gone up significantly. Wristbands are now $6 but the message above still stands.