Everyone who lurks at this site, everyone who pops in, everyone who goes into chat, everyone who says they are ‘thinking about quitting’, and everyone who eventually joins this site wants the same thing: to rid themselves of a monkey that will not spank itself. Every damn one of us has tried to get that monkey off our back/front/midsection/cheek/gums many times. And we have failed. Some have failed once; most have failed too many times. Why have we continued to fail?
Here’s why: in our previous tobacco life…
We dipped smokeless tobacco, and we dipped the shit out of it. Always had.
We set the alarm to get up before anyone else gets up in the house to dip the shit out of it.
We stay up after our wife goes to bed with starry eyes to dip the shit out of it.
We put our dip in front of everything our wives/children/others need. Everything, always.
We have another cocktail when we shouldn’t just so we can dip the shit out of it some more.
We think that we will quit next week. Let’s dip the shit out of it now.
We think that it won’t kill us. We think that it won’t maim us.
We think that happens to someone else. We think that OutDoorTexan is the exception.
We believe that ‘just one more’ is a viable option. Then we think ‘just two more’ is a viable option.
We believe that we’ll quit ‘someday’. We know we’ll quit someday, but someday never really comes, and if it does, it never sticks.
Read the above again, and try to find the logic. It’s not there. The logic is here, at this site. QS2. What makes this site so effective? I have a few thoughts…
We post roll call with a group of people that are going through the exact same thing, on the exact same day, possible the exact same hour and minute, with the exact same crazy-ass bullshit that no one ever understood before because no one ever quit with us. We have all quit alone, and failed. On this site, we quit together. 24/7.
We post roll because it’s the extra push we need to give us a reason to be accountable in our quits – I say this from personal experience only, but I believe it holds true to all of us here. Accountability is key.
I love my wife. I truly live for my family. They support me in my quit. But I need my quit brothers to be there in order for me to be successful. I need them to worry if I don’t make a post one day. I need them to worry if I don’t show up on chat. I need to know that they’ll worry about me if I change my insult strategy – point is, I need them to know me. And the reason this site works is, they know me. Get to know your quit brothers and sisters; the power of accountability is the trump card you’ve been missing in all your previous quits. I waited to post this speech until every remaining member of my quit group crossed the 100 day line. We all do this together.
To be successful at quitting, you need to want to quit. This may sound simple and like a no-brainer, but it’s true. You need to be honest with yourself, because if you truly don’t want to quit, you won’t. You leave the light on for the nic bitch, she’ll be in bed with you pronto. Gotta resolve to quit this thing from the get-go. Trust me, you hit the fog and you aren’t resolved, you’ll know you shouldn’t have been here because you’ll find yourself back on day one tomorrow. Resolve your quit every day, every hour, make it stronger, learn from your pain, exalt in the healing process, embrace the proverbial suck. There are people here that will carry you from day one, but only if you let them, and only if you truly believe in your quit. And if you question your quit, get your ass in chat and ask for help. Within 10 minutes, you will have 10 guys hammering on you so hard you would rather suck on a dried turd than throw away all you’ve accomplished. They will put you on their back through the rage. They’ll let you monkey stomp them even if they don’t know you from jmr. They’ve been where you are now. Knowledge is power – let them teach you and support you. It works; just read the speeches in this forum. It’s all in there, all the answers. TBabes said it in so many words: your quit is in your control. Whether you succeed or fail is 100% in your control. How many other things, especially the difficult things in life, are 100% in your control? Your quit will be difficult, but it’s within your grasp, and within your control. If you want it, it’s there. Who’s tougher – Nic or you? Answer is easy if you resolve to quit.
After quitting, do you think you can have ‘just one’? Sure you can. Maybe you’ll win the lottery on the way out of the c-store too. After cashing in your ticket, maybe you and Claudia Schiffer will be struck by lightning after the aliens that abducted you fly into a meteor shower. BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU WILL EVER MAKE. Don’t go there. Ever. Odds are a gazillion and 35 to one. You are an addict. Get used to it. Once you make peace with this fact, the quit becomes a task, rather than an obsession. A task like shaving every day. Sucks, but you never really think about it – just needs to be done. (If you obsess over shaving please disregard).
The MOST critical point in a successful quit (at least in mine), is this: Close the door. Close the door on your quit, as soon as you can, as soon as you are able to. Closing the door means you can look beyond quitting for today. (Newbies – quitting for today is the ONLY thing you need to think about for the moment; this point is directed to those a bit further along in their quit).You can look to next week and next year and the next 40 years and feel a peace and a calm with your quit. You’ll know when it happens. It might be a 30 minute wait in a convenience store parking lot, debating with yourself, listening to the Nic Bitch and finally swatting her aside and buying a Charleston Chew. It might be a meltdown at home, a job that finally blows, a terrible Cincinnati Bengals loss, a big deal that falls through; it’s anything that would have led you straight back to the God awful addiction you so badly want to purge, but you say no, and you mean it. And you do it, you say no, and you strengthen your resolve, and that door shuts a bit tighter, and damn, you can do this. That’s a huge pat on your back, and you instantly realize it, and it gives you the strength to take on any challenge, and you see the freedom dead ahead, and as you glance in your rear view mirror, you just laugh, because that’s history my friend, those miles are behind you, and that feels sooooo good. After so many years of prison, you see the light of freedom. And it’s within your control.
Quitters: stay close to this site. I had been a can a day dipper for over 30 years. I have been married for nearly 14 years, and have 2 wonderful children, but that was not enough to make me quit. Always wanted to, but always failed. Going to tell you something now that goes against everything you might read here: I quit for my daughter. I quit for her once before about a year ago, and that lasted for about 1 week. I fully expected this quit to last about the same. But I promised her I would TRY again. Not the best odds going into a quit. But I did something I’ve never done before when I started my quit 128 days ago – I Googled the web and found this site. I started reading. I read every link, and every HOF speech. I read OutDoorTexan’s story. And I realized that the damn Nic Bitch had even brainwashed me into thinking that my family came second. No more. I dove into this site, turned this quit into something for me (and my family), and I haven’t looked back. I have spent a considerable amount of time in the chat room on this site, trying to help where I can. I read through all the quit group forums, adding where I may help.
I owe much of my success to my quit brothers and sisters here at QS2. I try to give back where I can – it helps me in my quit as well. My wife made a comment to me about 50 days into my quit – she said ‘you’ve made some new friends, haven’t you?’ Yes I have.
I’d like to thank a few people; people whom I’ve never met and may never meet, but who will always be considered my best of friends. People who literally saved my life…
- All my brothers of December 2006 – the St. Nic O Frees – as a team we got this far; thank you for helping me along the way.
- My first and best bro FranPro – who always gives more than he receives, except when money is on the line – thanks Bud. FP epitomizes what it means to give back – pay it forward as FP says – he is invaluable on this site and a true vet.
- jmr/S2K/Hank – I only lump you together because I feel you are the triplet sons of different mothers. You guys have made me laugh. Alot. Best crave-killers in the business. Thanks.
- Billy Brew- sneakiest guy on QS2 – knows when a beer is in order. Nuff said.
- Dude/Snuggles/6 String – you guys have nothing in common, unless you’re all homophobic engineer types with an aversion to alcoholic abuse and a liking for mandolins. Always a pleasure chatting with you guys.
- Ruxxy, for being Ruxxy.
- Killer Attorney – I’ve got more respect for this crazy cat than anyone on qs2 – and you know why KA. You rock.
- Rodeo Timer – a truly great quitter, and a great guy – thanks for always being there RT.
- March 07 The Motley Quitting Crue – Gotta say, the resolve and support in this group is not only inspirational, but downright amazing. You guys have shown such a brotherhood, such strong support; you are a real model for what QS2 is all about. I am so proud of all you guys (and keep making me proud or else).
- I know I left some out (Remshot, QT, SOS, Loot, Larry, Sucker, Satchmo, FV, Slim, Capt. Kirk, Al, ODT, SC, Penguin, Rob, Mahum, CWQ, Allswell, Chewie, GK, 7Iron, Souix, Sucker, Gum, Mike and his fabulous av, and everyone else who has crossed my path here) but now I haven’t.
Last and hardly least – thank you to my beautiful wife and my son and daughter; you gave and continue to give me the daily inspiration I need to stay tobacco free.
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