Party of One – The Journey

KTC Logo PurpleIt is day 105 for me today. I have made it to the first of many levels. IF you are reading this and you are currently dipping, please know that you can make it to the Hall of Fame – 100 days. Although here at KTC we put an emphasis on the HoF, this, as our conductors say, “is not the finish line, but it is an important one and should be celebrated!” I honestly couldn’t say it better myself. I didn’t think I would ever make it to 100. I tried to quit alone for many years and only made it days. This is why YOU can do it. I know you may have a similar story, but here is mine. 

I was a Junior in high school at an all guys high school with a reputation as one of the best schools for young men in the area. We had fantastic sports teams, a great academic program, along with many other pros that I could go into, but that’s not the point. The one unique part of this school was that between your friends and classmates, there was a bond that was formed. You became brothers. I started hanging out with some of the seniors and one day after soccer, this kid named Dan Hack asked me if I wanted to ride back up to the school with him. This was the first day that I tried dip. He threw one in and asked me if I wanted one. It was SKOAL Mint. I threw it in and puked almost two minutes later. Although this should have sent me running for the hills, there was something about the buzzzz that I got, that lead me to wanting more. I asked him if he would be able to pick me up a tin, as I was only 17 at the time. I advised that I didn’t really like the mint, so he ended up getting me wintergreen. I was hooked. 

Fast forward to my Freshman year of college – I had now been dipping for about 2 years. I now realized that I was not able to afford the SKOAL and my buddy that I had met (baseball player) told me about a website where I could get logs of the Grizz for 3 bucks a tin. That was a great price. I soon ended up dipping close to two tins a day. At this point in my life, I Was very open about it. I would throw one in after class while I was on my way to another. I would throw one in at the library while I was studying. I would even time my dips so that I would put a fresh one in after 20-30 minutes. To me, it was normal, but to many others it was just a giant turnoff. 

I was sitting at lunch, with mentioned baseball player above, and was approached by a girl I had seen in my dorm, but hadn’t known her name. – Ashley Angus. She had asked me about the Econ exam, as she was in the econ class after mine. We kind of hit it off and started to become friends. I use to dip around her all the time. She looked at me one day and said, “Mike you should really stop doing that, doesn’t cancer scare the shit out of you?” Again, I was young and dumb, and advised that I would be fine. Long story short, I ended up dating Ashley after our freshman year and she advised that I would need to stop dipping for our relationship to move on. I Stopped. 

I had stopped in April of 2008. That was until I made plans with a friend of mine from high school in June of that year. He asked me, “do you want a lip?”. I paused. It had been almost a month and a half since I had a dip. I stupidly accepted. When I was on my way back to my house, I picked up a tin. For the next 9 years of my life, I would be the slyest ninja dipper in the world. I hid from my girlfriend, who became my fiancé, who became my wife. She had questioned me in the past and I continued to lie. It was uncomfortable. I was a horrible person, and I even thought this to myself. For a new years resolution each year, I said I would stop. But I never did. I always had the nic bitch saying “you can quit whenever you want, you’re not an addict”. 

Well I am an addict and I figured that out when I started reading through KTC in August of 2017. I would sit on the chats and vent that I was done with dip but would open a tin the very next day. I was getting sick of it all. It was all becoming too much for me. On August 16th, 2 days before my birthday. I bought a tin. I did not open it on my way to work and I just stared at it. I logged onto my computer. Registered for KTC and started reading more. Around 10am that morning, I posted day 1. On my lunch break, I took the brand new tin and went to go dump it. As I was about to dump it, a voice inside my head said “you’re wasting money”. I said Fuck You and dumped it. I have not looked back since. 

I started this off by saying that if you are looking to quit and you are reading this, you can do it. I say that because of what KTC has done for me. I posted a day 1 and seasoned vets would simply start saying “get digits”. Well this needs to happen. Help yourself and another by exchanging digits. I have done that and there are so many people that I text daily that have supported me in my quit, as I have supported them in their quit. To name a few from the ABQ November, I want to thank Swilson, 69Franx, Atlanta, Jake the Mom Fucker, JeffW, Dipsgone, MP, and Murph. There are seasoned vets such as JustinJ (who has helped me in many more ways then just with my quit), SFurze, and Dan aka DKAJW that have also been there all the way. 

There are going to be things in your life that want to drive you to quit. I know this first hand, as do many of the gents that I have listed above. IF you are ready to quit for YOU, then you should be posting a day 1 for you, for me, forever one here on KTC that takes this shit seriously. You have read that it is life or death, well it is. Let today be your day 1 and never look back. I look forward to my +1 everyday. One day at a god damn time. That’s all its about. make your promise one day at a time and stick to it. Make yourself proud, because today, I am not only proud of myself, but I am proud of all of the badass quitters before me that have hit this land mark. Today, I will post and I will worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. 

Be Strong, Be Quit. One Day at a Time. 

MikeP 

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member MikeP15

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