Like most fools I started experimenting when I was young…seven or eight. By the time I was thirteen I was addicted. Smoking, toking, drinking, chewing, were all part of partying…I was cool. This is fun and we’re having it. Time marches on. “Live fast, die young” is a nifty saying for a teenage skater punk but loses its appeal when your buddies actually die. My selfish life was going OK until I fell in Love and got married.
Married with children is a punch line for some but I find it extremely rewarding. Not much use for partying when people are counting on you. I was a USAF Combat Controller and tobacco fit the lifestyle. Dipping more and smoking less because it’s hard to smoke while parachuting, scuba diving, riding motorcycles, or on patrol.
Like most tobacco junkies I quit a few times. “Nobody likes a quitter.” There are always weak excuses to start again. “The Scud missiles are landing around us.” Each time you quit and fail the hooks are deeper. After retirement I contemplated quitting but “junkie talk” kept me from following through. After you graduate, after you get your CFI, after the New Year, the can kept getting kicked down the road. (Pun intended) One of the most troubling things about surviving is that you get old. There I was forty two and still running around like an idiot with a turd in my lip and a circle in my back pocket. How long before it wears a hole in your lip? How long before your son is bumming a dip? You’re not cool…just a junky.
I don’t know why I decided to quit. I am glad I found the support sites on the internet. Posting roll is useful to me. I don’t even know Rocky but I knew he was enduring the same type of pain and dealing with it. I post roll and take one day at a time. The web resources are great. I learned how tobacco hooks work, chemically, psychologically and how some people dealt with it. I heard the desire goes away after forty or fifty years…ha ha…but I also learned that the triggers only last a few moments. I am learning how to live without tobacco and everyday I get stronger. Thanks for all your help. I won’t use tobacco today. Lord willing I’ll see you tomorrow.
Lurkers and potential quitters rest assured if I can do it so can you.
(I wrote this on Christmas what a great gift.)