Like many past relationships much of what I remember is only the positive. 100 days have passed yet I have to remind myself of the negative and potentially fatal consequences of my addiction with dip (nicotine) on a daily basis to overcome the still present cravings. I joined KTC, read a ton of letters, speeches, and accepted my well documented ass whipping and conformed. There had been a handful of May 17 members that PM’d me to offer support to toe the line when things got ugly. But, I wanted to make a special mention here to rkymtnman and Justin J who were the first to reach out to me. Justin J and I even spoke on the phone the very night I crashed his boarding of the train celebration. Thank you Justin for showing compassion and selflessness.
My behavior with dip was reckless and I didn’t give a shit. I dipped for over 25 years and it was my best friend. I believe this led to the absence of fostering real relationships during those years and my life is less full because of it. I could always count on my tin and apart from my wife, nothing else mattered.
I’ve now accepted that fact that I am an addict and my brain chemistry is forever altered. I am a runner and a mountain biker and those runs/rides in the past 100 days have offered something I never thought they would, hope. Hope to be better man, a more loving husband, a kinder person, and a friend to someone in need.
As the last of May 17 to board I wanted to express my gratitude and respect to all of you and thank you again for having me.