I apologize to March 2010 quitters and supporters for taking a few days to type up my HOF Speech. I’m a little challenged when reflecting back on anything REAL recent…. much better at reflection from a distance. So this is likely HOF Part Une since – as we all realize by now – the HOF isn’t the end but rather the beginning.
I’d refer anyone interested back to my Introduction posting for the history of where I started…. And reading it will give the rest of the speech some better context.
I was at the point that I needed a WIN….. any WIN would do. After running through 37 years of life being a “good guy”, career success, great family, and more blessing’s than I could count, I ran into a brick wall in early 2008 in nearly every area of my life….couldn’t seem to move the ball forward. When I tried to “punt” I’d shank it…. (Sorry for the football metaphors) — It seemed that even if I wanted to “take a knee” and run out the clock for the half that SOMEHOW I would fumble the ball and the other team would take it back for a TD. I’d lost confidence in my ability to make or accomplish the most MUNDANE of things…
Needless to say I eventually got in to taking stock and remembered to COUNT ALL MY BLESSING’S that I had.
Frankly, God knew that I wasn’t going to take stock and correct some things until some things were taken….and that’s what I needed. When everything’s going great, everyone’s healthy, finances are in order, kids are cute, wife is hot, etc, etc, we have the world by the BALLS and actually believe in our own greatness that created our lot in life… THAT was my real problem…. A lot of guys live in that make believe land of “control”… Kinda reminds me of Tom Hanks character in that movie where he’s desserted on the island where he says “Look…Look at what I have done… I have created fire!!” and beats his chest.
When I was taking stock, making some plans, setting some goals, etc, it absolutely floored me that one recurring thought that came to mind during that process was “How is my dip schedule going to be affected by this?”. Are you kidding me? My life was in absolute chaos, everything that used to be up was now down, everything that used to be down was now up, my industry had literally disappeared, and I’m STILL THINKING ABOUT MY DIP SCHEDULE?
I decided that the Monday after Thanksgiving I was quitting – if not for my health, my $$, my kids, etc…. then for a VICTORY of some sort for myself. I know it sounds petty but let’s get real… We don’t do all sorts of stuff for the “right reasons/people” all the time.
During my 25 years of can a day Copenhagen addiction, I did manage to quit once before for 2 years – cold turkey, by myself. One day – after 2 years – it just seemed like a good idea to dip again. That was 1998. So on the Monday after Thanksgiving 2009 I started my quit the same way I did in 1996…basically jumping out of the plane and hoping my chute would open at some point!!
During my Day 1 raging (had never heard it called “dip rage” til KTC) I googled “quit dip” or something and found KTC – I knew within minutes of perusing the site that KTC was the missing link!!! A community of people who know EXACTLY what I’m dealing with…. My first post was actually a Day 2 post…..
There are so many bad ass quitters to thank that I’m not even going to begin…. I will say this though… If at any point you sent me a PM or replied to a post (good or bad) YOU sir or madam had an impact on my life. I thank you.
TODAY? What was once up is STILL now down, what once was down is STILL now up – just without me being a slave to nic.
I read on here somewhere that someone said “Quitting dip won’t make you stop being an a-hole…. It will just make you a nic-free a-hole.”
That reminded me of something I heard my dad said regarding money (i.e. good/evil debate)… “Money simply makes you more of what you already are…” In other words if you’re an a-hole, then you having a TON of money or winning the lotto will just make you an even BIGGER a-hole. And on the flip side if you’ve got right intentions and a love for people you can do some AMAZING things with a lot of money and make an even bigger impact in peoples lives.
The biggest reward that I’ve received is a renewed love for people… I realize that sounds sappy. But after 25 years of running my life – for the most part – from nic fix to nic fix there’s untold collateral damage that I’ve left in my wake of selfishness. Now that I’m controlling the nic bitch instead of her controlling me, my eyes are so wide open to other peoples struggles and what impact I might have on THEIR lives.
HOF Part Deux to come some day…………
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member daniel-san