2012 HOF Speeches

The Missing Warning Label

Wt57 avatarWe’ve all seen the Warning Labels on the smokeless tobacco. I always tried to ignore those warnings but never really missed them. I would like to address the warning that should have been there for me but was not!

Warning: Nicotine may cause Depression and thoughts of Suicide.

nicotine and depression

I am issuing this warning to all of those who may be reading this as they browse this website with a mouth full of nicotine and contemplating quitting.

I am not a medical professional and am not giving any medical advice, only relaying my experiences, and understanding of depression that has been gained over many years of personal conflict: Brain chemistry greatly affects modes. “Serotonin is a calming brain chemical known as a neurotransmitter that allows communication between nerves in the brain and the body.” When we have a disruption in the delicate balance of brain chemistry our bodies act up. Antidepressants are used to help bring the brain chemistry back into line.

Over the years dealing with depression I’ve been somewhat successful in controlling my most sever bouts of depression. But never to the point that I could live without anxiety and mild depression. In my intro “My Good Cave” I told about searching for answers to my depression and nicotine addiction. About 4 months ago I made the connection that I had suspected for a long time that nicotine messed with my brain chemistry and contributed to my depression. I also was depressed because of the fact that I couldn’t control my own body and mind. I had reached the breaking point, I had to quit the very thing (nicotine use) that I had claimed to use to cope with the pain of depression or I could no longer live with myself.

I now would like to share the experiences associated with my depression that I have recognized over the past 100 days of quit.

  1. I have started to actually look at myself as a good person. Helping fellow quitters has given me a sense of purpose and accomplishment. This is a real achievement since my long history of ninja dipping left me despising everything about my life.
  2. After changing AD’s about a month before quitting and then finally ending my nicotine indulgence I gradually started getting to the point that I could function in a normal manner. My depression had taken a path of lack of energy, didn’t give a shit, lay on my ass all day long attitude. I am functioning well now and enjoying my life as a quit addict.
  3. The one change that I recognize as the most dramatic change came on gradual and I’m not even sure when it totally left me but it has. It is also the most difficult to own and accept that it has been part of my life. It is the constant thought of suicide. I have dealt with this awful thought for many years often never going a day or doing some dangerous job without considering the option and how I would use the situation to do it. I’ve always known that it was a very final solution to a temporary problem. (but I had lived with it for so long it didn’t seem to be temporary) I’ve never actually followed through on a attempt (came close a few times) but I have a strong Christian belief and couldn’t get myself to follow through, because of the fear i had for judgement of my weak ass excuses, and the love that I have for my wife, I couldn’t leave her alone to deal with her issues. Sometime since I quit these thoughts gradually started leaving and now I am no longer plagued by them.

Nicotine isn’t the only reason I have suffered depression but it certainly has been a big contributor. I believe that My warning of Nicotine causing depression and thoughts of suicide is every bit as valid as the same warnings that are found on most antidepressants and ED drug out there. Just watch any TV ad for any drug and these warnings are there. Maybe they should also say that if the use of nicotine causes and erection to last more that 4 hours see your Dr. or even better especially for young dippers, If you can’t maintain and erection for more than 1 hour it is probably due to nicotine use and QUIT NOW!!! (If you don’t your dick will fall off. This is the only humor I will put into this post everything else is life and death.)

My Thank You: I can’t even begin to list everyone that has pulled me through this past 100 days, so I’m not going to try since I don’t want to forget anyone. Suffice it to say you have saved my life! I doubt that I can ever fully pay forward the love and helping hand that has been extended to me. I’ll continue to be here to reach out to you in my times of need and hopefully I won’t miss your cries for help, I know at times it is difficult to catch some of the subtle cries that are there. It may just be a simple lack of enthusiasm in a daily post. The feeling that they are invisible. We each need to become keenly aware of our brothers.

Brotherhood, Accountability and Success
KTC I love you;
WT57

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Wt57

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