It took me a long time to get this started, and honestly it took me even longer to finish. I started dipping when i was in the 9th grade and I thought i found gold. Little did I know I found shit. I was just a 14 year old moron who though catching a buzz was the coolest thing ever. Fast forward to my senior year, I was around a tin a day and going through some deep struggles in my life. My grandpa passed, I was failing classes, i was on probation for an mip (Minor in Possession), and i was in a constant war with my parents. When no one else seemed there for me, dip was. I found myself calming my mind with that dirt that sit in my lip. Angry at the world and constantly filling blank parts of my life with that fucking soil in my mouth. Little did i know what i was doing was by far worse than cancer..
Fast Forward to mid sept, I was around 200 pounds at 5’5. I was two mip’s deep, failing college and dipping around 10 cans a week. I was drinking almost everyday, and feeling the overcoming of sadness. I felt like the biggest piece of shit, I couldn’t stop thinking about taking things into my own hands and just dropping everything and falling head first off a roof. Then later that month i caught the flu and was sick. My dear mother picked me up from college and looked at me saying with the utmost sincerity, “Jack its time to turn your life around”. She picked up my tin and handed it to me and said throw it out and guess what i did? I gronked spiked that bitch right into the waste basket. 4 days into the fog i stumbled on to this website and found The DOGS..
Around 105 days in I’m feeling the fog the same as ever, but most of you may know it as other things. I’ve been diagnosed with mild depression and high anxiety. Its been transformed into depersonalization. Some days i wake up in fear wondering if i have gotten worse or if this will ever go away. Though something has changed, rather than the nic being there for me, i find someone new, myself. I will not crutch my emotions with this shit of a substance, i will conquer the world with my family, friends, and DOGS.
I’ve conquered many things in the past 100 days, I’ve lost 41 pounds, quit drinking, playing competitive lacrosse, and now attending a nobel university in the midwest Lawerence Tech doing Pre-Law/Administration. Do i feel better? I’d like to think so, but I’ll be there in the morning to post roll. To give my promise that I won’t ever rely on anything else in the world, without relying on myself.
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Bubba1995